Lately, I get up, get my kids ready for school, deal with the mini-dramas of the day X3, get home, check on my home-bound mother-in-law, and then settle in for a cup of hot coffee to sooth my throat.
And it is in this time of day that I feel a good cry coming on. Every day. But, I don’t cry. I usually make my lists and get on with the tasks of the day.
It crosses my mind that I am not depressed, life is good, winter sickness is over. So, why do I feel overwhelmed?
I have come to these conclusions lately:
- Pre-teen daughter in the home. There is something about the 6th grade year for both of my kids that has been much like weathering a long storm. Half the time, I command that the winds be still and keep commanding it until they are, for my own sanity. Sometimes, I ignore it. Sometimes, I pray through it. Sometimes, I get my feelings hurt. Sometimes, I try to come up with a better strategy for dealing with it. Irregardless, it’s exhausting. I blame hormones. I’m about to ban hormones from the whole earth. It just seems things would be much more peaceful at times.
- Aging parents. It has been a lifelong aspiration of ours to live in the town where our parents lived to help provide support when our parents began to age and need some assistance. I have varying degrees of that coming in full force on both sides. Mom is caring for my step-Dad and weathering her own storm there, holding down the fort admirably. My husband’s mother has broken a pelvis and has osteoporosis. She got out of a car and BAM! Her pelvis broke. She is struggling with chronic sciatic pain. It is very hard to see people come to the end of their physical selves, and to be in a totally new season of their lives. It is exhausting to watch people suffering, even when you aren’t actively doing anything. I try to help with little things, to call or go by each day, comb hair, take a video, read a story, talk about the news, straighten up the kitchen or sweep the floor.
- My house needs Spring Cleaning. I would enjoy the results of this, but am not looking forward to it taking the whole day. Little bites need to be taken, and I need to take them. I think it would really cheer me up. Having drainage to deal with doesn’t make me look forward to the dust at all.
- Cooking. I am at a quandry with this issue. I just can’t take cranky people anymore. It has become easier to just get what each individual wants lately and have one area where everyone is happy. I hope to get on top of this. I don’t like eating out so much. It’s not good for us.
- Spiritual neglect. I need to get back into my thanksgivings and some inspirational reading. That always cheers me.
So, that’s that, and my coffee is drained. I think I’ll start on the basement to prepare for a houseguest this evening, then tackle the bar, front room, and hopefully, a few piles in the garage. On top of that, I hope to get to scrapbook night, though I’m not sure my energy will hold out that long!
Entry filed under: Everyday.