Tuesday Prayer

February 15, 2011 at 12:32 pm 3 comments

Lord,

More “not feeling good”.  I can’t remember the last time I felt good.  It was late November, I think.  Trying to trust you, to watch my limits, to rest, to enjoy the down time.  Yet, angry with my body, with getting hit time after time after time, after time, after time.  Not feeling understood.  Hurting.

Continually asked to take new commitments.  Big commitments.  Not sure how to respond.  Trying to “pray first”.  Wanting to listen.  A little “stopped up”.  Not sure i cuold hear if I wanted to…even from you.  Unsure how to know when is “too much”.  I don’t know.  Needing answers soon.  Today, even.  If I am the best you’ve got, Lord…

Tired of comfort food, of reserving energy, of not pursuing health.  Yet, enjoying the little blessings that come with the limits:  getting scrapbooks caught up, going slower.

Resting more…exposed to more “culture”.  So sick of it.  Sick of the lack of realistic ways to raise a family in the midst of it.  The girly stuff, the disrespect to me and my family.   Tired of constantly “filtering”.  Tired of trying to keep up.

Feeling like the minority, knowing I’m probably the silent majority.  Tired of the silent majority.   Lose-lose.

Today…perspective is narrow, joy is suffocated, tears are close, frustration is high.

Seeking you.  Trying to draw away.  Get still.  Adjust my attitude.  See how I can respond instead of just sitting on frustrations.  Getting to the place of trusting you to be bigger than problems, than culture, than limitations, than fears.  Seeking vision.  Timing.  You.

Come, Lord Jesus.

Amen.

 

 

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Stacey  |  February 16, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Just seeing this and couldn’t read without replying that I understand so much of what you are saying. I’m sure you are feeling better now but lifting you up tonight anyways. If you ever need to vent or someone to pray with you just give me a call!

  • 2. Maggie  |  February 17, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Thanks, Stacey. Today was much better. Weaning of meds means many days feeling worse, even though I’m feeling better overall. Took and Alleve and a Tylenol and got to church tonight…was so blessed…glad i got to go, and that it was so good. The good weather today almost felt a mockery…my eyes hurt to the light. I am afriad to breathe new air! The Hub convinces me there are no allergens to worry about yet! I got a peace about saying “no” to the commitment. I just feel I need to be in a better place before taking anything else on. My husband has gotten the short end of the stick for too long. I need to be whole FOR HIM first. I prayed, worshipped, and came to that…and had a peace about saying, “Please ask me again later, I’d love to help, but right now, I’m still recovering.” Whew.

    Thanks for the note. I just needed somewhere to get my emotions out of head and in order so that I could respond to it, I suppose. I’m a journaler!

    Love ya!

  • 3. Stacey  |  February 22, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Glad to hear you are better! Things are crazy around here too and thus the late response! LOL!

    When things calm down (if that will ever happen) and the temp comes back up, we should meet to walk at the trail! Love ya, too!

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ME: “MAGGIE”

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Sifting the joy from the mundane:

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I am married to the love of my life, as we raise three children, learning the ways of grace.

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Magnanimity (derived from the Latin roots magn- great, and anima, soul) is the virtue of being great of mind and heart. It encompasses, usually, a refusal to be petty, a willingness to face danger, and actions for noble purposes. Its antithesis is pusillanimity. Both terms were coined by Aristotle, who called magnanimity "the crowning virtue."

Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary of the American Language defines Magnanimity as such:

MAGNANIM'ITY, n. [L. magnanimitas; magnus, great, and animus, mind.] Greatness of mind; that elevation or dignity of soul, which encounters danger and trouble with tranquillity and firmness, which raises the possessor above revenge, and makes him delight in acts of benevolence, which makes him disdain injustice and meanness, and prompts him to sacrifice personal ease, interest and safety for the accomplishment of useful and noble objects.[1] (Source: Wikipedia)

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