Calling?

August 16, 2009 at 11:54 am 3 comments

If there was a teacher who was teaching three news classrooms with three different age students than she was used to…that person feels like me as a mom each year.  I am challenged, invigorated, and fatigued by the changing responsibilities all at the same time.

Right now, coming home from church or for the weekend and having everyone sit to watch TV while there are dishes to be emptied, re-filled, tables to be wiped a floor to be swept, clothes to be fluffed and folder…learning to keep working my job in joy is my job.

And training them to help.

I’m working on both.

And it’s taking all I’ve got.

No…I don’t know how working moms do it…at all.  Nor would I want to have to try.

I thought after they were out of diapers it would be easier, but the papers mound, the floor is still needing the same attention it always did, more or less, and the clutter and play of five is about enough to drive me bonkers.

Today the preacher talked about finding your calling.  I don’t know…I’ve had times in my life where I was called, and times where I asked God for things and he answered.  I don’t know if I’m walking in my ultimate calling or not, or what little thing I might have said or did really made a difference while all the jobs and roles may mean little.  A video we watched said that sometimes it’s not so much about what we do and or where we are as much as who we are and are becoming.  Perhaps that is true to some extent.  Right now, I know I am a mom and I’m becoming a mom, and it’s taking all I’ve got to be up for the job.

To have the laundry ready, surfaces cleaned for a meal, cooking done and cleaned and some odd jobs done for different ones…that’s all the time I have each day.

I volunteer here and there.  I help out here and there.  I teach some.  And whether than amounts to a calling or not, I don’t know.  I just know it’s all I can handle right now and then some.

Household manager…and lacking most days in all that needs to be done while I’m here.  But, hopefully I’m getting caught up, a bit at a time.  A drawer here, a closet there, a pile here, a refrigerator there.  Hopefully it will all get done eventually.  I can’t say I’m “finding joy” in doing it…but I feel like it’s my job and what I’m supposed to be focused on this season.  Much has not been gone through in a while and it’s starting to all feel heavy and crowded and is taxing.  So…that’s my great calling.  To just keep going.  I feel tired a lot of the day, and I’m drinking a lot of coffee and keeping a lot of mental lists.  All in all, it doesn’t matter.  And all-in-all, it does.

I read questions like, “If today was your last day to live, would it really matter?  Would you do the same thing you are doing today?”

I don’t think that’s a good question to ask.  I think I good question to ask is, “Lord, what work have you entrusted to me today, and what needs to be done next?”

Because, no…if it were my last day, I would not care about the dishes.  But, knowing it is my job and it’s the next thing that needs to be done, it is my act of worship and service to my family to wash the dishes.

So…in all the volunteering and serves and working and calling and ordinary…there is joy.  I find joy in knowing I’ve done a little…not so much in the realization that there is much to go.  Hopefully as I get caught up and spaces cleaned, there will be mounting joy in finishing.  And hopefully I will get some bonus things done in the meantime that are on my “etc.” lists and my “want to” lists and my “giving” list.

This week, I made and sent out eight cards.  That was a bonus thing that gave me joy.

I feel tired a lot lately and somewhat overwhelmed by all that must be done.  But, I am thankful to have the time, the health, and the support to be here to do it.  I hope it bears fruit and trust that it will.

In all that, knowing that people are first is a huge challenge because after tackling messes all day, loving people is the last thing on my mind.  Whipping them into shape seems to be the predominating thought!  Maintain it!  Hopefully that will also bear fruit, and they feel loved by the treats and order and just people doing what needs to be done around them faithfully and consistently.

For now, time to get out of these little 2″ pumps and out of this skirt and into some Sunday afternoon comfy clothes before hospital visits and worship planning and clothes folding.  {Whew.}  I make myself a little tired just talking about it lately, so there is more “doing” than “writing about the doing”!

Just touching base…

Maggie

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Entry filed under: Christianity, Everyday, My Story, Sprituality, Transition.

Just Normal Woman Days Going Beyond Women’s Conference–Louisville, KY

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. adri  |  August 17, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    I heard someone on the radio yesterday saying that when they see their 80+ yr. old mother’s hands they feel like weeping. Why? Because the wrinkled and worn hands represent all the love, service, acts of kindness that she spent her life pouring out over her children and others. It’s exhausting sometimes, isn’t it? But, so worth it…

  • 2. Sandy  |  August 23, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Keeping the home and raising productive kids is a calling. Who do you think is raising the kids of working Moms, other Moms, that’s a calling too. One thing that helped when we were raising our family was keeping the end goals in mind, not just that getting the kids to wash dishes but the reason that we teach them is so that the will be able to function on their own.

  • 3. bellissimanh  |  August 23, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    “I don’t think that’s a good question to ask. I think I good question to ask is, ‘Lord, what work have you entrusted to me today, and what needs to be done next?'”

    What great perspective! I need me some of that! Thanks for this 🙂

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ME: “MAGGIE”

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I am married to the love of my life, as we raise three children, learning the ways of grace.

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Magnanimity (derived from the Latin roots magn- great, and anima, soul) is the virtue of being great of mind and heart. It encompasses, usually, a refusal to be petty, a willingness to face danger, and actions for noble purposes. Its antithesis is pusillanimity. Both terms were coined by Aristotle, who called magnanimity "the crowning virtue."

Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary of the American Language defines Magnanimity as such:

MAGNANIM'ITY, n. [L. magnanimitas; magnus, great, and animus, mind.] Greatness of mind; that elevation or dignity of soul, which encounters danger and trouble with tranquillity and firmness, which raises the possessor above revenge, and makes him delight in acts of benevolence, which makes him disdain injustice and meanness, and prompts him to sacrifice personal ease, interest and safety for the accomplishment of useful and noble objects.[1] (Source: Wikipedia)

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