Out of Sorts
The kitchen is a wreck and I don’t care. I’m setting that to the tune of “Jimmie Crack Corn”.
Actually, I will care in the morning. But, I don’t care right now. I’m tired of the kitchen!
I was in total R&R today, but we did make it to two church services, and got our Christmas Shoe Boxes taken for prayer dedication, hub got the kids to children’s cantata practice.
Right now, I’m irritable. I have been all day because the kids have been picking a lot and they’ve been needing to get out…but, we’ve been too wiped out to provide them an outlet…especially Red. He survived an all girl day and I needed to just hook him up to the treadmill today.
I’m also irritable because I’m at the end of a birth control pill pack. Joy. I plan to take another one, so false alarm, but I’m still cranky for a day or so.
And I’m irritable because…how can I put this. As a result of hearing something, I struggle (again) with that balance between being real, in the heat of where I am, and yet being a joyful, authentic, Christian.
I wish the two looked more like cohesive, and it’s getting better each week, but they don’t.
I’m short-tempered too much of the time, stressed, worried, overwhelmed.
I’m still way too human too much of the time–living in the wrong plane.
I wish the thought of a better way cheered me, but it just makes me feel even more down in the dumps at the moment — not sure I look like maybe I should or could…too tired to try. As a rule right now, I’m not keeling over, but I’m not doing kartwheels either. I’m stable, but life is very weird. I’m just doing what needs to be done as I can, as much as I can. Planning for joy, embracing it when I can, but not at all “myself”.
I know there is more than surviving through tasks, but sometimes, that just seems a good goal for the day.
Is this even good blogging material? I doubt it, and I know I’m being somewhat vague and multifaceted. But it’s midnight and I’m ready to go to bed, but I wish I felt more “fixed” at the moment. Feeling out of sorts, and having the kitchen dirty is probably making me more grouchy than I thought! 😀
Entry filed under: Everyday.