Perspective

September 9, 2008 at 1:10 pm 5 comments

In the last hour, a 3 year old precious one in our body is being buried.  He’s struggled through countless surgeries in his lifetime…he was born with water on the brain and it has defied all the doctor’s logic as to why all of the stints kept getting infected so easily.  It’s been a daily, weekly, monthly battle for this family for three years– our church has prayed and prayed.  It was time for the family to let go.  It’s been a painful thing for all of us; none can imagine this mother’s journey, what her precious heart has had had to endure.

I delivered the cookies on a pretty rose paper plate.  There was joy among the older women there.  They had matching aprons someone had made for them.  How cute was that?  They were all smiling, energetic, telling funny stories about their grand kids (CJ, your mom the ring leader).

I could not do this funeral alone today.  We are called to weep with those who weep, and I just was not strong enough to do this one today.

Go with the grace God gives.  I had grace for cookies.

In any case, I ran by the print shop in town to see if they could enlarge a book pattern of an apron I was working on myself, and boy…is it going to be CUTE.  But, they could not enlarge it 4xs, which is what I need.  I think it’s going to come down to an X-Y axis type transliteration.  ‘Cause I can’t find an overhead to do it either…though I think they rent them at the library now that I think of it.  Hmmmm.

While out, I ran by the local print shop to see if they could enlarge the pattern for a cute apron for myself I wanted to make.  I’ve always had old aprons and I really wanted a cute one.  At 35, a girl is due a very cute apron.  And it will have butterflies on it.  I’m excited about it.  I found the pattern at the library, but it has to be enlarged 4Xs, and they can’t do it.  Looks like some old-fashioned X-Y plotting is going to be in order.

Also ran by the flea market and bought some more peaches.  Grand-dad brought us some yesterday.  The hub took four.  Four…why 4? There are five of us and we had company.  We rationed out three of them and MMmmm…they were GOOD.  I’ve been salivating over the 4th all day, feeling guilty about it.

So, I bought 24 for $10.00.  I should have gotten them for about $8.00, but I wasn’t quick enough with my math.  A peck for $10.00, it made the old man happy, and when you know you are getting good fruit, it’s worth it. Grand-dad did better than I did on the haggling.

I stopped by the consignment store while I was at it, got a very new, brand spankin’ new Liz purse in my favorite colors for fall…mixed brown leathers.  It was $8.00, and an “organizer purse”, which means it has a place for my camera and my phone to not fall out. I am lovin’ that. All my Liz’s (all of them used), I love, but they do not handle the camera and phone issues well at all.  They have all been outed.  Outed, I tell you. And now, I am organized.  All for $8.00.  It even has this little pocket that velcros…I’m not sure what it’s for…change?  I might us it for scripture cards or something for the kid-pick-up moments I find to review something.

Also, I found this white wire organizer for taking paper stuff outside for picnics!  Oooh.  It has places for the plates, utensils, ketchup…all kinds of stuff.  I hope it works.  I always need an extra hand with that.  A timeless little thing.  I have just the place to store it on top of the dresser in the utility room.

Finally, I found two new oil torches that mount on the umbrella stand of a table.  You can either put citronella oil in them or regular oil.  Light is always dim out there in the evenings, and candles are usually too close to paper to have on the table…so I’m really excited about these for fall.  $6.00. They are not the same color as my table, but a silver-pewter, but I think it will work.  I guess you have to unscrew them when the umbrella is down?  Hmmm.  I didn’t think about that.  We’ll have to see.

Forty minutes and thirty dollars later…”Happy girl, happy girl, jumping up and down!”, as I tell my kids.

Then, I came back inside, and…oh mercy, my “addicted to scrapbooking” order was here waiting for me.  Glory.  They even put three pieces of candy and a free school stamp in there for me.  How thoughtful.

And…then, I checked my email.  Remind me not to do that when I’m still on a shopping high, please:

JUST  FINISHED THE CONFERENCE CALL WITH *****, THEY WILL CALL ME NEXT WED. WITH DETAILS ON A ONE ON ONE CALL.  I AM  SHOOTING  FOR OCT. 20TH TO LEAVE
FOR HOUSTON.  I HAVE 3 DATES TO CHOOSE FROM. SEPT 22, OCT, 6, AND OCT 22 (correction, the 20th).   POP WILL BE IN OCT 9-25, SO MAYBE HE CAN GO TO HOUSTON WITH ME FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS, I DON’T KNOW…..LATER, LOVE YOU, MOM

It’s rather like a telegram from the olden days, isn’t it?

I have to remember that I’m prepared.  I’ve gone through the grief.  I’m ready.  I’ve dealt with God on this, and He’s dealt with me.

But, there is something about the realness of it all hitting.

But, I still have a month to go.  That reality doesn’t have to hit me every day.  I’ll wait until it has to hit.  And then, it will hit.  Hard.  I know it will.  But, God is good, and all he does is good.

It’s hard some days to handle the variety of emotions of one day, isn’t it?  A funeral, planning picnics, buying peaches, mom is moving to Iraq with step-Dad for at least 4 months.

I think we all struggle with days where it’s hard for our brain to focus with the vast array of “stuff” that gets through at the human spirit.

And we grasp onto whatever is closest in our subconscious…which makes me happy that I have snippets of scripture literally all over my house to run into all the time.  I remember the last scripture I read a few days ago.  Something said to me, “Hang onto that…it’s a good one.”

“Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits.”

Don’t forget the benefits.  It’s okay to remember the good stuff.  The highlights.  It’s not denial.  It’s not irreverent to the sadness.

It’s okay to keep celebrating.

It’s okay to bless the Lord, and others, and myself even.

It’s okay.

Things in life do not all fit together into a neat package that can be dissected and pieced together perfectly.

It just all happens, and we strive to keep God’s perspective:  a plan that is in His control, a plan that he redeems for purpose and plan and order and beauty and joy.

And so…we keep celebrating.  Rejoicing.  Harnessing the bad.  Expounding on the good.  “Whatever is good and excellent and praiseworthy, and worthy of praise and good report…think on these things.”

It isn’t denial.  It’s survival.  It’s what we call “spiritual warfare”.  It’s gaining eternal perspective.  It’s worthy work–for all of us.  It’s what sets us apart, this work.  This effort.  This perspective.  This…faith.  This hope.  And, I sure want it in me, though emotion will most certainly be seen.  I can’t help it.  It’s my mom.

I just got a call from an elderly lady who keeps calling the wrong number. I’ve been having trouble with my cell phone lately and it wouldn’t answer.  I tried to check voice mail, and still saved there is a message from my friend, E, who’d left a prayer for me a couple weeks ago on my voice mail.  And I had it on speakerphone, and I listened to it and cried as she prayed the perfect words I needed to hear today.

God is right where we are…all the time.  So near.  Blessing.  Lifting us up.  Even when we are alone and there is no one around.  He is so “good to those who call on him…those who call on him in spirit and in truth.”

Scriptures from The Holy Bible, NIV.  Search for references at www.Biblegateway.com.

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Entry filed under: Everyday.

Necessary Boredom Composed

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Merrie  |  September 10, 2008 at 9:07 am

    Yes, the constant change in our lives – with emotions and circumstances… also, the constant UNchange of our Jesus! He is always there in our waivering.
    Thanks for the reminders of His faithfulness.

  • 2. Brittany  |  September 10, 2008 at 11:17 am

    I’m glad you finally got that voice mail. What a great gift – God’s perfect timing.

  • 3. ~E  |  September 10, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Merrie’s comment above reminds me of one of my favorite verses, “Jesus Christ — the same — yesterday, today, and forever, ” Hebrews 13:8.

  • 4. rapatino  |  September 11, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    thank you, thank you.

  • 5. perspective, by maggie  |  September 11, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    […] finished reading maggie’s post on “perspective” and I got kind of choked up.  Not sure why.  I’m usually not emotional at all.  I could […]

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