5th Grade Graduation Post

May 19, 2008 at 9:09 am 5 comments

This is a mushy-Mom 5th grade graduation post, so if you have a graduating child and don’t want to go there just now, feel free to bi-pass it.

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Boy Wonder,

It’s just occurred to me in thoughts about a scrapbook to commemorate your graduation that…well, you ARE graduating from elementary school.  It’s not a graduation that is highly celebrated.  But, it is one that is mourned by moms.  I was just looking back through my Photoshop Organizer…ice skating, playing basketball, hanging out with your Dad, riding the 4 wheeler, teaching your little brother all these things and cheering for him wildly as he learns.  That is so you.

I’m in tears as I realize the time is gone.  I can never get it back, those early years with you.  Gone.  Yet, I realize that even though I did not have as much as I wanted to give to your days and moments as times…that very limitation is the reason I’m willing to let you spread your wings.  There is not enough life in me to fill yours.  You need more.  You need experiences, people, lessons, and energy that is beyond me to give. 

That’s the way it’s been since the beginning of your life, really.  Learning that while I’d love to be everything to you, I can’t.  There’s simply not enough of me.  Not enough zeal or energy or attention to give you all you need.  And so…I need help.  I need other people.  I need caring people and those who enjoy you. 

Because of that…because God helps me by giving me others to help fill gaps I can’t…I’m willing to let you grow into new places, new things, new stages, new groups.  It’s still hard.  My!  I can’t imagine you three divided by groups now…some in “children’s ministry”, and you, soon…moving to “youth ministry”.  I’m not ready for that.  I’d love for you all to be at the same camps, you teaching your little brother how to do that, too.  But, there will be those to fill in where you can’t, too.  And so, we will have to let Little Guy grow up, too into new places and things without us.

It’s been a beautiful year, a gift really, to have you all at the same school, all happy together.  It’s so hard to feel the chain breaking a little….but, perhaps it is not breaking.  Perhaps new links are being added in, and we are stretching out…  Perhaps “the stakes of the tent are just stretching out” .  Help me be wise, O Lord.  To welcome newness, not stuck in grief.

My wish in times like this, when I’m emotional and time is marked by events that remind me of the passing of time, is often to take back every unkind or tired or selfish word, to always have been available when you have a need or desire to play or do this or that.  I cry, weep… realizing what’s done is done…and those opportunities are gone. 

Yet, in other moments, I realize I could never be enough, even if I wanted to.  for, I am not built for your world of play and laughter sometimes.  I’d love to be in that carefree world, but I’m not.  I am in an adult world of concerns, worries, responsibilities, needs…one where I am also STILL growing myself!  But, I love it when you can take me there in moments.  It’s the world’s best vacation.  I realize that those very limitations are also tools that pushed you to grow to interests you can pursue without me, friendships you can develop, hobbies. 

My greatest hope is that you always allow those gaps in anything to be filled by the Lord Jesus Christ himself.  Let Him develop you toward YOUR passions, and give you a heart to use it all for the glory of Christ–for that is my heart for my life, and for yours as we grow.  No matter what things your heart is drawn toward, allow of it be given to draw others to Christ in some small way.  I see that in you…in your heart to connect with others, to make them smile, to entertain, and even play a little magic trick on them! 

You are such a joy to be around, so forgiving and funny–you brighten my days more than you could know. 

I am so excited to see what the Lord has in store for your life!  He has placed gifts and talents and personality in you unmatched by anyone else in the entire world!  You are unique, loved, and loving. 

Take Him with you…wherever you go.  Make wise choices.  Examine for yourself the things of life, and pursue what is good. 

I love you, son.  I really do.  In all my strengths and in all my weakness…I love you. 

I hope the life I’ve lived continues to show you how much, even as I learn and grow into how to do all this parenting stuff myself.

With many tears and love as I write on the Monday before your graduation,

{{{Mom}}}……. (those are hug marks)

 

 

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5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Kim Heinecke  |  May 19, 2008 at 9:29 am

    I just wiped a tear from my cheek. So sweet. I have a 4th grader.

  • 2. Cindy  |  May 19, 2008 at 10:19 am

    Girl, if you’re like that over 5th grade graduation (I did fairly well with that one), then you will need therapy when Boy Wonder leaves school for the last time. Today is Kid#2’s last Monday. I have a feeling this will be an emotional week for us.

  • 3. Under His Wings  |  May 19, 2008 at 11:53 am

    What a great entry, thank you. Our 5th grader is graduating Friday also, and, I’m so honored to be able to attend his graduation, considering I didn’t get to enjoy his elementary years (being a new stepmom). The funny part about this process is that he told his Dad and I, “guys, I need some preacher pants for Friday.” We are casual at Leigh’s Chapel, and S knew he needed “pants like you wear, Dad…preacher pants” for his outfit. It cracked us up, and, sure enough, J and S and the gang are headed out tomorrow, election day, for the search for black dress pants and other various needs for summer time. God is good. . .All the time.

  • 4. mom  |  May 19, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    Babygirl, you have alot to look forward to….my prayers are with you for now and LOTS OF YEARS to come. You made me cry. Memories…….

  • 5. gchyayles  |  May 19, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    Beautiful. Thank you for sharing something so personal and meaningful with us. Your love for your kids is so touching. Love you and praying for your peace and joy as you all celebrate this new and exciting season in Boywonder’s life!

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