March 10, 2008 at 9:40 am 1 comment

I am very thankful we did not have to sing much of an invitation at church last night.  We just prayed some and sang one verse.  I could deal, which was good, because it was Red’s week to pick our spot to sit.  He wanted to sit as close to the front as he could; we couldn’t last week, and I’d promised this week.  My having a meltdown in the center two rows from the front would not be my idea of a great time.  He fell asleep as usual–one hand perched mid-air, frozen…we thought he looked like something from Star Trek.

This morning, Kroger was tricky.  I think it’s what we call “fighting off depression”.  Not just a few dreary thoughts, but standing in front of the pickles for a good seven or eight minutes, unable to locate hamburger dills, arms feeling fuzzy a bit, stomach queasy, about ready to yell, “HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO BUY SOME PICKLES? PLEASE STOP MOVING THEM JUST BECAUSE IT’S NOT HAMBURGER SEASON!!!  CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE COME GET THEM OFF THE SHELF AND HAND THEM TO ME!  Thank you.”

I’m glad I just kept looking.  And looking.  And looking.  Relish.  Kosher.  Thin Sliced.  Jalepeno.  Another brand.  Repeat.  Too tired for this.  Relish, Kosher.  Thick sliced,  long sliced, baby sweet…

Fortunately, I found them.  At the bottom all by themselves.  Whew.  Hamburger dills NEVER belong at the bottom.

A close one.

I got home.  Checked email.  Had nothing meaningful. 

Cold air was streaming into the home for a good long time because I left the door open to the garage.  I didn’t really care.  I have on my new comfie sweater currently my “comfort” substitute for chocolate.  This is good.  I love Peebles for the new comfie chocolate-replacement sweater.  It feels very Etsy.  Knit.  Earthy.  Some might say “frumpy”…when you need chocolate, you don’t care one way or the other.

Still no good email. 

That being the case, I was forced to bring in the groceries before my three boxes of Klondike low-fat Ice Cream Sandwiches (which are STILL on sale, praise God!) melted.  I put away the OJ and milk.

The rest of the groceries are still in the floor an hour and a half later.

I did, thankfully, run across a blog that cheered me up.  A friend asked me to be praying for friend #2, so I read their blog and prayed.  It always helps to read about somebody whose life is just a little more weird up than yours.   

YEAH!  I have not yet reached the end of the line.  This is good.

It’s not that I’m down or disturbed in particular.  The human mind just had a hard time processing some information.  That is where I find myself.  A bit of short-circuiting going on.  But, that’s okay.  This is a girl who can’t watch suspenseful movies without leaving the room.  I’ll get over it.

I do realize I’m starting to sound like that lady on Oprah’s Big Give last night who keeps reinforcing every interview how great it is to stop thinking about herself and actually give to someone else.  Um, we might be more convinced you are not thinking about yourself if you’d stop talking about yourself. 

You all might be more convinced I was okay if hamburger dills weren’t such a big issue.  I realize. 

These days are just hard.  There is really no way to make it not so. 

But, hard is do-able by the grace of God. 

It has been do-able this year. 

It is do-able. 

I don’t know what it’s going to take exactly besides the grace of God, but it’s do-able.

On the up-side, grapes are $.99 a pound again at Kroger, praise Jesus!  Slightly banana prices are going UP.  They were $.58 cents a pound or something today, up from $.30 something (floods).

Entry filed under: Everyday.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Dori  |  March 10, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Hey friend…

    I’m praying for you today! So good this morning to actually be “among the living.”

    I know EXACTLY how you feel right now — maybe not the same exact details or story, but I have felt that same kind of overwhelming despair.

    I’ll e-mail you personally later, but I want you to know you are cared for and I’m praying for you, your Mom, your brother, your stepfather…everyone. You have so much going on right now!!


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I am married to the love of my life, as we raise three children, learning the ways of grace.


Magnanimity (derived from the Latin roots magn- great, and anima, soul) is the virtue of being great of mind and heart. It encompasses, usually, a refusal to be petty, a willingness to face danger, and actions for noble purposes. Its antithesis is pusillanimity. Both terms were coined by Aristotle, who called magnanimity "the crowning virtue."

Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary of the American Language defines Magnanimity as such:

MAGNANIM'ITY, n. [L. magnanimitas; magnus, great, and animus, mind.] Greatness of mind; that elevation or dignity of soul, which encounters danger and trouble with tranquillity and firmness, which raises the possessor above revenge, and makes him delight in acts of benevolence, which makes him disdain injustice and meanness, and prompts him to sacrifice personal ease, interest and safety for the accomplishment of useful and noble objects.[1] (Source: Wikipedia)



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