What’s Up?

It’s Fall Break here.

I’m enjoying a slower pace, less cooking (so I get a break from the routine, too), and continuing to work toward some goals.

Goals:

1.  Getting the kids scrapbooks caught up so I can clear the clutter in the craft room.  Football season is a good time of year for me to tackle this.  We have one TV, and football will be on 3-4 nights a week.  I am next door in the guest room for any “must see” replays, but for the most part, I can let the guys have their time and have some of my own!

2.  Getting back in shape, rebuilding my knees slowly.  I’m running about 25 minutes nonstop now.  How far is that?  I don’t know for sure…I’ll know next week when I can get back to a marked trail, which I will enjoy, considering the current route near my home is uphill the entire last half.  I teared up at the thought of a 25 minute run Monday–two lone tears actually slipped down my cheek after I was really working hard to gear up for another 20 minute effort when I turned on my podcast (Interval Podrunner) and realized it would be TWENTY FIVE.  What???!!!  I yelled. The kids all came running, and I was trying to explain the situation to my 13 year old son.  He said, “Mom, are those tears in your eyes?”  He chuckled.  I kept explaining.  He said, “They really are!  You are CRYING!”

Yes.  I did.  It was a cold day.  I’m not used to being outside in the cold and I was weak.

All the way home I just kept saying, “It REALLY IS uphill all the way home.  I’m dying.  This is killing me.  I’m not sure I can do this.  I can do this.  I have to do this.  I can’t stop now.  What will I tell the kids?”

I did it.

I did it again today.  No tears.  No internal cheerleading.  No thought to the uphill route home.  I just did it.  Amazing what one hard trip made does for the psyche.

3.  Keeping the house on a schedule.  This is a major triumph of my life.  Some weeks I get off, but that doesn’t matter, because I did it last week, and I will do it next week.  I’m trying to add some big projects into this mix, but that hasn’t happened to great extent since I’m cramming in running and scrapbooking.  Soon.

4.  The Love Dare.  I’m not being as consistent with this as I need  to be, but I am trying to keep up with my husband and am, for the most part, enjoying a new sweetness in our lives due to this class.

Paula Dean Work-A-Round Bliss

Today, I am craving some serious food. I’ve been doing well on my new eating goals this week, and even have enjoyed new recipes, feeling full, less snacking, and feeling better about the way I’m treating my body.

But, today, I’ve had about the same period of time dealing with an issue that seems to go from trial to trial, and you know what I want to fix it?  Chocolate.

I’ve been allowing myself some very dark chocolate with less sugar…that kind is supposed to have even potential benefits for the body.

I’m not talking about the “benefits” kind of anything.

But, I’m not eating it.  Not right now…and I hope not all the “right nows” that follow in this day.  If I wrestle with it all day and give in…what was the point, really?  Let’s win.  Get a full win today.  I want a full win.

I just watched some Paula Dean for a few minutes and the sandwich with sourdough bread, real butter, bacon, onion-y mayo, real good sliced cheese “from the local deli”, green apples, in an iron skillet all sizzling…that was getting to me too.

So, for lunch I pulled out two shaved slices of ham, two of bacon, mayo (I don’t have lite, everyone donated the real thing to me during the storm fearing theirs would go bad, so I’m using that up first), green apples–I had one left, Red and I love eating them for snacks raw, 2% milk cheese slice, and my sandwich maker, coated with some butter spray–and some tomato relish I bought “from my local grocer” yesterday.

I layered the mayo, relish, meats, cheese, apple slices, and was ready to rock and roll.  Only trouble was, my apples made it too hard to push down the sandwich cooker, so I just held it until it could seal.  Some of the cheese and relish bubbled, out, but I’ll worry about that mess later.  It was a low fat treat that hit a craving, and it distracted my watering taste buds…it tasted new, and different, and I’m still on track for the moment.  Still craving just…well, something bad for me, but I hope to get away from that thought.

Don’t some stressful situations just make you want to blow it all in a way that doesn’t REALLY blow it all? I mean, really, nobody truly suffers from a chocaholic binge.  Nobody may know about it even!  And we feel really good and really content for a little while in the midst of a very long day.  Mmmmmm.

And then, we have the baggage to deal with.

Baggage.  I’m sick of it.  Time to make the right choices to begin with, find fulfilling things to do that don’t cost me long term.  Time to say yes to the godly and no to the desires of the flesh.  Time to enjoy some long-term benefits and stop seeking the short-term reliefs.  Time to value the eternal over the temperal, the results over the pleasures.  Time to make the hard choices and get the work done and seek the things that really satisfy and really do build us up.  Anyone with me? ( It’s okay if you aren’t!)

Tuesday

Today, I mopped the floor good before the kids are home for Thanksgiving break.  I got grocery shopping somewhat caught up for kids home for meals.  I got chicken defrosting for dinner.

Glad I took some time to recover my spirit today–Lord knows I needed it tonight.

The second half of today?  Sometimes you think you are due a break and you get hit with another situation, and it’s very hard to keep going, to find the emotional reserve.  But, you do…because people are worth it.

I feel so worn out tonight.  I was so hoping for a restful Thanksgiving.

Tired of “issues”.  “Situations” dictating the landscape.  Yet, I know they are for my good, somehow.  Perhaps the Lord uses them to keep my focus tied up instead of letting me get too introspective.  I don’t know.  I’m trying to find a way to say “thank you” about it when I don’t feel it at the moment.

I prayed last week, “Lord, do don’t let me fall behind in parenting with so much going on.  Fill in my gaps, keep me on my toes.  Show me.  Fill the gaps with my kids. Help me.  Help.”

He has.

I won’t dishonor growing kids by venting all their stuff here, but parenting prayers are appreciated…for fortitude, effective discipline, appropriate discipline, good modeling, God’s presence to be with us as we try to lead.  Just refreshing and strength for continued tasks bigger than me.  Everything in my life is a “God sized” thing right now, and I should be thankful that I’m forced to be so dependent on Him.

Mom called tonight and I was just so short and snappy not being able to talk with her about what was really going on with me with the kids in earshot.  “Business issues” dictated, simply because that was the only thing safe to talk about, and more papers was the last thing on my mind to want to talk about at the time.

Here is the part where I try to make this applicable and meaningful and draw you into the conversation.  And I just don’t have it in me to come up with any of that.  Thanks for the prayers and support.

Celebration of Discipline– Richard Foster

This quote is from the final chapter of Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster (my devotional reading for the month).  It gives a great overview of the areas covered, so I thought I’d post it.  While other writings I’ve read in the past may round out the subjects a bit more, Foster’s holistic viewing of all the disciplines working together make none of them burdensome.  God gives us so many creative options to help us keep our hearts open our hearts to Him!

Foster includes other sub-topics within these areas, the “consecration of the imagination” being one of them under the area of “Meditation”.  It’d like that topic covered separately as a discipline, for it leads to all sorts of creative expressions of meditation through the art, but a great start.  There are other resources around to expand on creativity and imagination, however, if you want to delve deeper.

In Foster’s words:

“…meditation heightens our spiritual sensitivity which, in turn, leads us into prayer.  Very soon we discover that prayer involves fasting as an accompanying means.  Informed by these three Disciplines, we can effectively move into study which gives us discernment about ourselves and the world in which we live.

Through simplicity we live with others in integrity.  Solitude allows us to be genuinely present to people when we are with them.  Through submission we live with others without manipulation, and through service we are a blessing to them.

Confession frees us from ourselves and releases us to worship. Worship opens the door to guidance. All the Disciplines freely exercised bring forth the doxology of celebration.”

Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, (Closing paragraph p 201 )

“How Do I Give If I’m In Debt Myself?”– Financial Quandries

A few questions have come up.  If you are interested, and need some help or freedom in this area:  read on.  If not, skip it!  Isn’t blogging a joy?    

There are two things to differentiate:  the tithe, and then the offering.  Two very different things. 

The titheis to be a “first-fruit”.  What’s a first-fruit?  It’s not Juicy Fruit.  It’s not an apple.  Don’t put either of those in the offering plate unless God tells you to specifically.

In the Old Testament, God asked the people to give the first of their crops and harvests to him, the best of what they had.  It was to be given as an offering before they ate any of the restof the harvest.  The firstfruit was given to help establish priority of thanksgiving, the priority of obedience, and to remember God first.  

The tithe today is intended to represent “first-fruit”.  That is why you don’t want to wait until there is a surplus to tithe.  Test God in that.  He will meet the rest.  Some adjustments and priority may need to be made, but that’s where the rule of 90 comes in. 

The Rule of 90:  (I coined that term myself…I love it.  I sounds so official).  I didn’t coin the idea.  The other 90% has to be given to God for the 10% rule to work with grace.   God wants our all in everything.  And the very cool thing is:  He does more with it than we ever could!

Tithing seems to work to align our lives in greater wisdom and less attachment to things.  He teaches us to rely on creativity, ingenuity, and thanksgiving to fill our hearts rather than the pleasure of “stuff”. 

The baseline for the tithe, what God expects from us, is generally defined as 10% of the check (gross or net is up to you to decide.  One person said, “Do you want a gross or a net blessing?“)   Most financial books only consider income.  However, there are also I’ve been compelled to give a tithe on other blessings or provisions God provides me out of the ordinary.  There is a Biblical basis for this.  In the Old Testament, they tithed any provision…even spices. 

We have the children tithe their birthday cash.  This is a personal decision not dictated by scripture, but a tool we’ve chosen to use to teach our kids the priority of giving.  They enjoy it and are sad when they leave it at home.  I’ve seen them cry and ask us to go back home for it.  They like to take part and give something “adult”, giving something of their very own.  It’s amazed us to watch.   

The Offering:

The offering is given above the tithe.  While the tithe is considered the monthly commitment to help support the budget of the local body where we are involved, we think of offerings as other gifts we may give to support special causes inside or outside the church.  It’s “a love offering”…something to help others “just because”.

You might ask, “How do you get ahead enough to do both, I can’t even get my act together enough to tithe yet?”

Start.  I recommend starting with the tithe rather than with the offering because the tithe is what God asks.  Give what you can.  Give an offering if you absolutely cannot tithe, but if God asks us to do it, his requests of us are not burdensome.  He only asks us to do what is good for us.   

Show genuine and long-term interest and discipline in giving and managing income, and he will help you learn more and more until you see the joy in it.  It’s like anything else we learn, it takes time, some stumbling, some falling, and eventually learning to walk with a solid gait so that you don’t even remember the “learning to walk”.  You just know that you walk.  I have to tell you that it’s great to not have to feel convicted or defensive every time the subject comes up.  Try.  

I had jury duty this week and several people had VERY legitimate excuses to not serve where they were asked.  The judge said, “But, can you try?  Do it one time for me and we’ll see how it goes before we excuse you, okay?  Try, and then we’ll make arrangements”.  Perhaps the same applies here.  Before you make excuses, try.  Then make needed adjustments if you have to. 

But, we’re WAY in debt.  Sometimes the ends don’t meet! 

I’d like to suggest that in 90% of the cases, debt is due to extravagance, not need.  It is due to credit card abuse and use, overspending, and frivolity.  That’s the bottom line.  Yes, we pay for mistakes.  One way to keep from doing it again is to begin tithing.  A monthly reminder that we are working toward a goal of managing our money as God intended will help the next time you want to upgrade a car or get more than is necessary.

Let me insert a personal note here.  I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than a family committed to becoming debt free.  They learn to be creative with their time.  They learn to not keep up with the Joneses, they develop an inner beauty that radiates because they are trying to honor the Lord with what they have.  They learn to be content where they are and share out of that, rather than trying to impress.  They are a joy to be around.  I had one friend who regularly invited us over for simple meals of homemade waffles or spaghetti.  To this day it was the best food I’ve ever eaten, and the best company we’ve ever kept.

I’ve had friends who wanted to be out of debt so that they could be even better givers.  They tithed what they could in that process, but they wanted to be freed up– to lose their focus on money and “stuff”.  They may have started at a lower percentage, with the goal of increasing it every quarter until they got to 10%.  Personally, I’d rather know I’m blessing the Lord and give the full 10%, trusting Him, but you start where you are, and it’s easier to do 10 when you’ve begun there.  Start where you are, and get there.  You may have a heart to increase it as the Lord increases you, as some I know.  Giving becomes a surpasses joy, I do know that.

Examples:  I’ve seen four families go through a debt free process.  One family had 3 kids, one 4, one 5, and one was a couple without kids.   There are many ways to start, but a budget is usually involved.  If you a person who struggles with management and numbers, a simple envelop system may work.  You take budget areas and label an envelope with each area according to records of past expenses, or how much you think the family could make it on that area.  (Don’t forget to include long- term expenses like insurance and taxes).  Also, try to build several hundred dollars for a start on an “emergency fund” envelope.  

If the grocery envelop goes empty, you have to pull from another area that month: entertainment, eating out, or clothing.  After a few months, you begin to see where spending problems are, or where adjustments need to be made:  there is motivation to get creative or do better in some areas so that there is some left in other areas.

Larry Burkett’s “How to Manage Your Money” is a great resource for money.  Ron Blue offers good suggestions as well.  Read what you can, try it, and find what works best for you.  Keeping the idea fresh in your mind by reading books helps with restraint, especially in high expenditure times like the holidays where people want to “love” people to death and then stay mad the rest of the year trying to pay off the debt!  Agh!  Break that cycle this year!

Gifts:  How Do I Give and Make the Holidays Work? 

We are not hurting financially at this time.  But, we still try to set up the kids for their future.  How?  We regularly give our kids gently used gifts for Christmas if it’s something they might enjoy.  Things I’ve found along the way and saved for a rainy day.  I’ve always wrapped some “necessities” like warm winter clothing or church clothes so that they know the value of those things and remember to have joy and thanks over them.  They are the priority, why not learn to celebrate that together in a tangible way?  Plus, it makes the tree pretty and helps extend gift giving time without buying so many toys they don’t need.   We all make homemade gifts for each other and buy useful things.  We might defer the purchase of an appliance until the holidays so that we have something new and useful to enjoy at that time. 

It doesn’t have to be something sparkly and new, meant to impress all our friends for us to remember to feel valued and take joy.  Provoking jealousy is a problem…don’t do it.  Guard yourselves if being around those types of people causes you to feel “less than” in your approach during the holidays.  Rejoice for them!  But, don’t let it question your family’s approach if the goal is debt reduction.  Make sure you and your spouse are on the same page.   Don’t surprise a spouse with a “big gift” if you agreed to minimize.  That is a killer of joy.  Rejoice in simplicity. 

Reduce the amount spent on baking.  You’ll live without it.  Most of us won’t miss it a year.  Simplify.  Create other traditions like covered pretzels or working puzzles that don’t cost an arm and a leg.

Rejoice in traditional ornaments and family heirlooms instead of having the latest fad decorations.  An occasional new item is alright, try to find it post season for next year. 

Well, that’s all for today!  I hope you’ve enjoyed these ideas or that they’ve been useful in some way.  If you have questions, feel free to email me.  I’ll try to get to all the questions here and there.  Thanks for asking!

This Week I Led a Hooker to Jesus

Thunder roared at I typed that.  Which was a little awesome.   My new p*orn friend, pole-dancin’, drug-addicted, hopeless, suicidal, guilt-laden, happens-to-be-Muslim friend just received Christ as her Lord and Savior. 

After talking to her extensively this week about God’s love for prostitutes for the “unloveable” (as she described herself), she asked about 30 minutes ago “How would I go about following Christ?  How do I become a Christian?  Would I still be a Muslim?”

I explained as gently as I knew how, how she could receive Christ, and sent an example prayer personalized for her situation.  She shared with me this week that even her mother had told her many times she was a failure, and that she wishes she’d never been born. 

She just emailed back through CCC’s ARC email system and said, “Okay…I did it!  I guess I am no longer a Muslim and will probably get kicked out of my house!”

Wow. Jesus loves her so much.

Celebrate with me today, and continue to pray for my young friend as you have this week.  Thank you so much.

Usually, I get to encourage or guide people who’ve already just received Christ, but rarely do I get to lead one to Him myself…such an awesome privilege. 

Guys, there is no better way to use a computer.  Take advantage of all the tools God has given us to lead others to Him. 

It’s simply amazing to me. Would you consider becoming an email volunteer also?

When the Fruit Isn’t At It’s Finest

The Quilt is being broken in today.  Boy Wonder just called home vomiting at school.  I spread it over the couch and he’s recovering there.  There’s just nothing like a cool quilt! 

I started feeling some better last night.  I think it was probably hay fever (allergies), rather than a cold.  I’m so glad.  I’ve had my share of the cold thing this month already!  I actually got through my closet last night most of the way.  I worked on it a bit more this morning.  Last night, I straightened, today, I’m purging.  I usually only buy clothes I intend to last for some time, even if I buy them used, so it’s hard to get rid of things that have some use left, but my clothes need room to breathe.  Time to narrow down to my most used.

I need to get the fridge cleaned out today, too.  Misty seemed to be quite in control of this task.  I think she should come give me a lesson .

I’m thinking on our sermon series this week a lot: the fruit of the Spirit.  I found a really cool evaluation list that challenged me yesterday.  I posted it here.  I’ll probably make a permanent copy to keep in my spiritual journal.  It’s very good.  You know, I’ve been a Christian since I was seven.  You’d think I’d be controlled by the Holy Spirit enough by now to be gentle and kind and sweet natured, but alas!  I am not.

This brings me to some personal evaluation and choices.  Being controlled by the Holy Spirit is both a result, and a choice.  I choose whether or not to put others first.  I choose whether or not to serve when I’m busy doing something else.  I choose whether or not to stop what I’m doing and respond with patience.  I have to make choices.  Apparently, my choices so far in some areas haven’t led to gentleness, patience, and joy…so, there is only one answer.  My choices have been wrong.

A hard reality.  Lord, keeping guiding me to make better choices, ones that honor and glorify you.  Not ones that promote productivity, efficiency, or individuality.  No…ones that promote servanthood, serving, and giving.  Preference to my family over myself.  Preference to modeling over teaching.  Preference to serving rather than ”toughening”.  Remind me to serve.  It is my role. 

Read the Bible in 90 Days (day 1B Gen 6-16 )

I’ve been making some notes to keep and share–I hate to forget the “little jewels” I’m finding each day.   I simply don’t remember anything if I don’t write it down…maybe you’ll pick up a few fun facts!  

PS:  I’ve gotten a few questions about reading 90 days.  If this is where you are, and you sense the grace to ”Read the Bible in 90 days”:  it takes about 45 minutes of reading a day.  Most break it up, morning, noon, and night. 

So far, it’s been both challenging, consuming, and refreshing to commit leisure to the simple and basic exercise of loving God’s word.  “Just reading” has been an awesome story to read.  You DON’T want to get behind! 

As for me, the last couple days, I read at lunch time, 11-1, including a nap and short lunch.  I made a few notes that afternoon just for sport.  I am behind on my housework, but only because I’ve not learned to fit it into my new routine very well yet.

———————————-*****

GENESIS JEWELS according to Maggie…

read and rest of this post here

90 Days

“I am not going to better myself because I read the Bible in 90 days. I am going to read the Bible in 90 days because I already have the spirit within me to read God’s word. You can argue about the validity of reading the Bible in 90 days – the 12 pages breaks the reading up too much or you don’t delve into the text enough. Valid arguments. However…

The fact remains: every day, I am spending at least 1/2 hour in God’s word. It’s like holding a baby for 30 minutes a day verses never allowing it to feel human touch. Or spending 30 minutes talking to your teenage son about the latest sports report verses never speaking about anything. It is taking 30 minutes to eat a meal verses starving yourself all day. It may not seem like much, but it may make all the difference.” 

 –”Sarah”  ( quote found at http://www.biblein90days.com/node/163)

Thrifty Living: Children’s Place SALE

Karla, a quick post for you:  Children’s Place www.childrensplace.com is having a GREAT sale right now, and you can find two separate codes online for free shipping, and another for a 20% off your order (already on clearance), if they have your kids sizes left!  Shop fast!

My Order (Goucho Shorts for School, Very Comfie):

Item                       Color      Size          Price*    Qty.    Total*
—————————————————————————-
65801535 knit bermuda gauch bubble     10              3.19  (3.99 sale) (10.89 reg)     1     $3.19
65800735 knit bermuda gauch fushcia    10              3.19   (3.99 sale) (10.89 reg)     1     $3.19

—————————————————————————-
                                               Subtotal:               $6.38
                                               Shipping:               $0.00 

(I had a free shipping coupon from an online order frustration Christmas-time)
                                               Tax:                    $0.38
                                               Order Total:            $6.76
Wow!

Empasse-ing

Warning:  this is a long and personal post “where I am and need to be”…if you aren’t in the mood, just skip it for now, or come back later, or move on.  Either way, have a great day, and know I am so thankful you stopped by to see what’s up! 

——————— 

So…I have come to an empasse.  Is that how you spell “empasse”?  I don’t know.  I’ve haven’t come across one in a while.  And, the last time I did, I don’t think I noted the spelling.  I was too busy “emapass-ing”, I suppose.

I’ve been rather under the weather for the last week, naseated one hour, exhausted the next, allergy symptoms the next…raw throat all the time.  Little Red feels about the same.  So, we aren’t getting along all that well except when we curl up to nap together.  It’s no fault of either of us, it’s just that we both feel pretty rotten altogether.  I actually come home to nap before my next meeting to make it.  It’s a sad and sorry state which sounds made for old people.  Though I am getting older, I’m not an old person.  Not that there is anything wrong with old people.  I like old people, especially those who look like they’ve got the joke on you…they just smile a lot as if something incredibly entertaining just happened, though it usually didn’t.  Perhaps it is all the “empass-ing” they’ve done?  They just learn to “get over”, “get through”, “get by”, or “get around” just about any and everything there is to “empasse”. 

This time of year I usually make new goals.  But, the last few seasons I’ve made new goals and I’ve not cared if I attained them or not.  Part of this is good, for my goals are just redirected to other healthy things.  But, I suppose I’m just ready for a bit more ‘balance in the basics’.   I’m sure this is normal.  But, especially when a person is mulling these things AND feeling like crud warmed over a few too many days, the two together are quite motivating, for there is the illusion that if I live healthier, I will feel healthier.  Works for me every time.  And, I do believe this is part of God’s reason for the common cold and other annoying viruses.  I have no Biblical proof of this, of course, just a personal observation.

Most of my lack of discipline, I find myself just not caring about.  I’m not sure if this has been a bad thing, or a good thing as of yet.  I have had a peace about stepping back, but it just disturbs me that I’m not doing some things I know I “should be” doing according to all the good books.  I suppose an evaluation of the fruit is in order, and frankly…well, in doing so today, it’s not great.  I do have grapes in the crisper drawer in their little webby plastic and see through bag, and it looks like we’re ready to eat healthy, but upon a grasp of the grape, it is readily evident that they are past peak, a bit soft, a bit tart, and not worth the eating.   Little Red, the fruit lover, wouldn’t even put one in his mouth yesterday…he just knew from the “little squishy” evaluation of a 5 year old that something was amiss.  ”Mom!  These are just…well…they are all sort of soft, and not good!” 

I get it.  Thinking about it in a deep sort of sense generally not good for mental health, I’d say in a raw moment of hoest, that’s a bit how I feel in just about every area.  Though there is no mold yet, I think we are close.  I’m surviving, I am the grape, I’m just “a little past prime” and not quite worth the risk of embracing.   

I want the kind of fruit that is worth embracing. 

So, my prayer needs to be, “Lord, get me out of my apathy”. 

I wonder how I got here, really, for I am a passionate person in everything I do.  I attack things head on and don’t care if everything doesn’t look “together” in the process…I’m not about intimidating people.  Some balls have to fall to get other things done…and the Lord has blessed me with great “back-up”, or there is just no way my life would work as it does.  It’s not me.  

Lately, a lot of fatigue probably boils down to some hard to bear prayer burdens, some risky situations, disappointing events, overbearing household repetitive routines, heavy volunteerism, and flat-out need for summer refreshing.

I find myself in need of a total revamp for the refreshing to “stick”.   You know that verse in Isaiah somewhere that talks about a cistern not being able to hold water because it is cracked?  I need to drain the whole thing down, like a pool, seal the crack, and fill the thing back up, just like a swimming pool with a leaky liner.  Man!  I don’t want to!  It’s too much work, and it’s not warm enough really to swim anyway!  But, something tells me that for me to by ready and warm enough for use when it’s time, the time is now.  I have to start now.  The work is going to be…not fun.  But, it will be rewarding.

Oh, God keeps filling me up, and we’re never running on dry…I have enough for the base-line tasks, always grace for the moment…but there is just none left over.  And I’m tired of running on that.  I want to see more passion in the basics in myself this summer– I want to see my laundry room well tended, my project room well-loved, not strewn and piled. I’m getting ready to say “no” to any distractions to that goal this summer, just in case.  Right now, I’m nearly too tired to even tackle those jobs, but the sickness sometimes brings the desire to surface, which drives the doing when the energy comes.   

I usually don’t post blogs this long anymore  for respect of readers wanting to read many blogs, and deserving much more for their time, but, I just needed a moment to refocus and articulate the bit and peices of thought from my day…to put them in one cohesive unit and stop the madness of them bumping one another in my head, at times beginning to attack and accuse me rather than leading me to goals and new direction, as they should.  Even more fatigue than I already feel with that spin cycle!  So… 

Lord, make me.  Put your joy of basic living and basic calling and fundatmentals back into the energy of my fingertips.  Make me smile every day.  I will practice.  Cause me to dealight in ”restoring dignity” to my primaries.  Root me, and firmly establish me and the work of my hands.  Give me grace for the children–they will, I already see and know, take me two steps forward and two steps back every single day this summer.  I cleaned the laundry room Wednesday and went in there a minute ago and nearly had a coronary with the mess.  Such disregard and carelessness.  Help me teach them and still give them the fun and break they need.  Give me strength and joy, and somehow, pass it on.  Somehow! 

Finally, give these readers grace for this rambling, and freedom to scan and pass by when posts are too long or deep, or personal for their mood.  Today was a “me” post.  Thank you for their community and “hellos” each day to bless me, even when the post isn’t for them.  How blessed I am!

In Jesus’s Name. 

The Real Me That You Know Already, Asking

Untitled Post

Today, lots of housecleaning and re-ordering after Spring Break.  We had a restful weekend out of town, though weather was far from “shorts and t-shirt”.  We all wore long sleeves and jerseys and jeans on outtings.  I’ll post a few fun pics later this week.

Today, cleaning off The Bar and The Desk, trying to assemble that motherly sense of order again that just seems to know where things might be, even if they are missing.  Right now, all I know is, “I have no idea, you’ll just have to look…no, not there, I just went through that stuff yesterday.”  “Well, where could it be then?”  “I don’t know.”  Quite an exhausting line of repetitive conversations. 

So, I have piles of “too keep, sentimental”, ”to keep/ records”, “to pay”, “to read”, “to research”, “to look into”, and thankfully, not a lot of “to do”.   Many “big tasks” knocked off in recent days, but leaves everything else needing a shine, and me not with a lot of “shine” to apply! 

Knocked off a publishing job this morning, fixed some pixelation printing problems with the help of the extremely helpful folks over at Photoshop Elements User Forums.  Highly recommend their assistance for users with problems or ideas of any sort.

Deep sigh.  Much luggage and laundry spraying everywhere.  

I gave seatwork/reading assignment to my student today and did not teach.  Came home and do dishes and get “caught up”.  I have to pick up Red in 45 minutes, and I certainly don’t feel ‘caught up’, but at least it’s moving a bit.

—— 

Last night, the pastor preached on a scripture in Malachi.  I read further, and it talked about that verse where it says that some were grumbling and complaining, “What is the point?  Why do we keep serving and believing when nothing ever gets better?”  Then it says that The Faithful gathered to discuss what they should do and how they should proceed, to share burdens and complains in an encouraging faithful way.   And then it says, “And God heard THERE prayers and made a scroll of rememberance for THEM”.  He predicted much tragedy and woe for those who did not trust.

You know, I’ve had some similar bones to pick with God lately.  Good reminder to me that He doesn’t hear the grumblers, those with exhausted faith.  He hears those who, though weary and tried, persevere, carry on, and talk and encourage one another.  Lord, make me a like-minded, faith-filled person who You want to write a scroll about!

—– 

In other stray thoughts:  I heard it said lately that if you once heard encouragement from others about your work and service, and you are no longer hearing it, then perhaps you are doing something wrong, or not enough, or whatever.  I prayed about that.   Perhaps it’s true, to a degree. 

But, we are to be God pleasers, not man pleasers.  Sometimes, I’ve been in what I knew to be the center of God’s will, and if I were depending on the accolades…oh, mercy me, would I be a sunk ship by now!  (And times, I have sank to that inky black depth of relying on the praise of man!)    

Often, in the beginning of service, we hear the cheers, gratitude, thanks.  Then, AS WE MATURE, we must submit to the rigors of perseverance, the long-distance course where we often run alone, or weary, or tired, or wonder if it’s all worth it.  Sometimes, things get quiet. 

 Some of us need more affirmation than others, for sure!  No problems with that.  But, when things get quiet for some time, and all you can hear is the steady pounding of your own feet, shoes rubbing blisters, water canteen near dry…what then?  Are you still in the right race?  We are told we have a marathon to run, and we must run the race as to win.  That means, sometimes, we suck it up.  We keep going.  We are miserable…and we are still right where we have to and need to be.  Is there joy in the journey?  Yes…through blisters, we see an incredible view over the field off to our left.  A stream trickle under the bridge to our right.  We help a brother or sister along for a while.  But, stress is always with us.  The road is always long. 

—-

On the flip side of that:  This weekend, when I returned home, there were three notes waiting for me.  One a thanks…from someone I do not even know, thanking me for being a wife who shares her husband with others in need.  One encouraged me in new skills I’m giving to the Lord, though there are those likely so much more qualified than me.   There are power drills, and then there are screw drivers…God reminds me he needs both at times.

Well, on to more desk sorting.  Just wanted to take a moment to dump my mind.  Hope you guys are all great and thriving.  Send me a line and let me know how I can pray for you this month:  email.

Keep Your Eyes (More) Pure Using youTube

The scriptures tell us to be thoughtful in the way that we live, not as unwise, but wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  That means that we are to know that we live in precarious times…we need to watch our step, and yet try to make a difference where we can, both at the same time.

As a bit of a retraction (am I allowed that?), due to some conversations and input, I am no longer boycotting youTube as a whole… only their ads.  I hope you’ll stick with me and read why without thinking me fickle.   

First, I need to answer some questions and give some tips as to how to use youTube to avoid those “visual land mines” where we know they exist:  

1.   Use the “My Favorites” and “Subscriptions” tools.  When you use the “subscribe” feature, you can subscribe to trusted author’s videos whom you’ve enjoyed in the past.  When they put out something new, just check your 
“subscriptions” tab and see all the new stuff they’ve put out since you visited last.  This keeps you from wandering arounnd where you perhaps should not be quite as much.   I currently have more in My Subscrotions to watch than I’d ever have time to watch. 

2.  Use the Search Feature… to selectively choose topics you are interested in rather than giving your mind room to wander, explore, and be entertained filtering through whatever has been published today.  I bookmark videos my kids are allowed to watch.  My kids are not allowed to free surf on youTube. 

3.   Watch for “visual land mines”!   If you are a Christian, hopefully you’ve addressed this issue already, I don’t know how guys do it, but don’t be unwise to Satan’s schemes.  Know that MANY people, men and women are getting addicted to internet pornography…there is an appeal innate in us that is drawn to what seems forbidden and “out there”.   Do not just randomly just explore “what’s out there”just to “see what’s out there.  Trust me, if it CAN happen…it’s out there to see.  Curiosity killed the cat.   Don’t research in the name of ministry.  There are minister porn addiction stories coming out every day due to that excuse. 

4.  Report!  (Why take the time?)  Why?  That helps them filter “live!”  There is no way they alone can filter alone all the bulk.  Don’t look for it, or click on it, but if you find it by accident, report it.  

————————————–
So, why did I just give you tips to use youTube when I said I was boycotting youTube?  HA!  I’m just that fickle!  No…because I realized my main trouble with youTube right now is with their ads…other things are just internet responsibilty we are going to have to learn. 

Today at my church, there was a strong message that we, as Christians, need to be known for “what we are for…not so much for what we are against”.  Definitely!!!  That’s the kind of person I want to be–more concerned about people’s salvation than destracted and Satan’s diversions.  We can get so wound up in reactivity, “issues”, and “social concerns” that we have no time to win the lost!  Satan still wins!  But, oh, church!  Let’s not react to reactions.  Let’s respond in the obedient character and nature of Christ:  full of both grace and truth.

Maggie

Why “Fast”?

Today I talked with a young lady from North Africa, a new Christian who wanted to know how to deal with “temptetion”.  Can’t you hear her accent in the spelling?  So sweet.

This afternoon, I had the delight of reading this casual blog entry on the subject of “temptation”.  It was a delight to read. 

If you have ever considered something like fasting for lent or pondered what it would be like to practice self discipline in giving up something…you’d enjoy this entry.  I think the fasting is giving her clarity of mind, too.  One of the best blog entries she’s ever written.  Great job!

Blessings~

Maggie

PS:  For all who sent little notes to my friend, Carol….thanks.  She’s still in need of encouragement and prayer.  You can still post those here.  She has cut back on a lot of responsibilities and has prioritized family.  She will be testing all week and hopefully will have some answers soon. 

Psalm a Day Reading Plan

I feel like I could use a buff and polish today.  Nothing seriously out of whack or dented, but I just don’t feel “sightly”.  Ever felt that way? 

Here’s one of my cures right now and I hope it proves helpful again today.  I have no doubt that it will.  It’s proven trustworthy for several weeks running now.  Reading a Psalm a day.  So…

Someone asked me the other day why I chose to read Psalms.  The very same day, another friend emailed to say she’d taken it up, and that it was “helping”.  

When I first made the plan, I had intentions of sharing the things I’m learning, but most days, they really seem too precious to voice.  Ever been there?

So, back to why I chose Psalms? I find myself needing to fall in love head over heels with my Jesus this year.  Psalms seems a good place to start to remember how he feels about me and how I need to feel about him. 

I compared it to those times those of us who are married recognize when we just feel like we need a date…or two, or three.  The relationship has become trustworthy and familiar and valued…but, my friend said, “a bit stale”.  I don’t know if I feel “stale” in particular…life and his friendship to me is very exiciting.  Very adventuresome…always something to conquer together.  Perhaps that’s the thing.  It’s so much adventure and conquering that I’m a bit weepy and tired.  Just like that feeling I get as a mom.  I may love my husband very deeply and value all his does, but I just have the need again to know him, and know myself, and know his great love for me, apart from all the hoopla, responsibility, and daily grind.  Not that any of it is any less worthy or desireable.

I really can’t tell you how much it’s ministering to my heart of hearts just to stay caught up with a Psalm a day.  Sometimes I get ahead or behind, but it’s easy to keep up with and catch up when I “get hungry again”…sometimes I just need to “soak” in one for several days without moving on to someelse and “burying it”. 

As a rule, on the first day of the month, I read Chapter 1…all the way up to the 30, then I start again, adding 30 to find my place.  On the months with 31 days, I’ll read a third of 119 until I’m finished with it (it’s quite a long one). 

If I want more (say a morning and evening devotion), I’ve decided to read a Proverb as a rule.  There are 31 of those, so it’s also easy to keep up with.

Any extra reading or study I do is awesome, but that will keep me in the word when I just get maxed out “studying”.  I found that my “breaks” this year from studying left me not doing anything…and I need to stay in the word to stay grounded…we all do. 

I got the idea from  this post where several people serious about staying discipled as Bible readers commented on it.  At the time, I was looking for something for the new year.  In the past, I have gotten so far behind “reading the Bible in a year” that I decided to chew of something manageable that I could easily add other study to.  Almost a “devotional”, but not based on outside writers or writings, just the Bible…where I continue to hear from God himself.  Jesus is the word of God!

It’s not that I don’t think I couldn’t handle something more arduous, it’s just that, I’ve found I enjoy disciplines more when I leave myself time to ”surf” places I need to go if needs come up.  Some studies and plans in the past, I enjoy, but they seem to tie me down too much to hear what God may be telling me to go tackle due to daily “stuff”.  It’s some level of discipline, without overcommitment.  

So, if you don’t have a plan to stay in the word yet, and have been intimidated by getting in the word in the past, consider joining me?  Today I am scheduled to read Psalm 30 + 12, because today is the 12th (I already read Psalm 1-30 last month). 

Next month, I’ll read the next “third” of the Psalms, found by taking 60 and adding the day of the month.  In this way, I’ll get through the Psalms three times in one year, and all of Proverbs 12 times (but I don’t do two devotions a day every day…just when I’m very “hungry”).  It satisfies…even more than a Snickers candy bar.  A friend gave me a small purple NT Bible I keep in my purse which has at least the Psalms in it also, if not Proverbs.  Yesterday, I read while I waited to pick up my son from school.  I found myself closing my eyes in a peaceful, thankful, zoned, rest when I got done.  And by the time he got into the van, I was ready to ask him with a cheerful and focused attention about HIS day.  I was full.  I love that about the word of God.  It satisfies.  Even on the most chaotic, crazy, confusing of days…he calms me.

I thought of the verse from Psalms this morning, “my soul is like a weaned child within me”.  

I think about it often.  Such a powerful word picture.  Not even sure I can articulate why it’s so packed with meaning for me.   Psalms are full of such mind filling phrases to meditate on.

I am keeping index cards in my Bible to try to make notes for myself on what I learn about God and myself as I go through.  If I get bored  need to stay focused in meetings, I’ll go through them and be “wow-ed” again.  The word of God just has staying power like that.

Let me know if you are jumping on board.  So, today, either start at Psalm 12, or 30 + 12.