Facebook and Middle School Kids: Guidelines for Parents

Middle school brings with it a need to begin to teach kids about texting and online socializing.  Helping your kids navigate these waters is important, and if parents AREN’T on facebook with their kids, it can be very dangerous and at the very least, unwise to allow you kids completely private worlds of conversation, texting, and online recording of of it for many to see.  It can harm their reputation and give them a mirror world…parents excluded.

Facebook has guidelines of being 13 years or older to join, but because of the allure of games with graphics geared toward kids of younger ages, and because kids love to connect, it is very difficult to wait that long.

Even though we are a very media conservative family, we allowed our kids to have facebook accounts, provided we always had the password, could block anyone we were not comfortable with, we would all disconnect if ads got inappropriate on Facebook, and we would stay “connected” as “facebook friends” for accountability purposes.

Our community and church youth group uses facebook for announcements and connection for private messaging.  Our kids don’t have phone and texts are expensive, but they can post us messages to facebook for free from their iPod Touch when they get free WiFi (very common at places they stay or visit when traveling on youth trips).   The connection has been valuable to celebrate life’s events with them.  Often, we will even  ”facebook” each other from different rooms in the house, exchanging humor and funny quips.  We have found it fun, for the most part.

With parental guidance, it can be fun.  It does take some oversight to stay healthy.  For instance, we have blocked girls in the summer who post playful pics of themselves and girlfriends in bikini tops, with the understanding that we might add them back in later if they calm down on that behavior in other seasons of the year.  While guys see girls in that dress when they are out, it just seems to translate differently online.   I’ve found that I know things about kids their parents do not know because they are not in their kid’s social networking circles, unfortunately.  It makes it very awkward to tell them when they are not taking opportunities to keep up with what their kids are doing.

Like it or not, social networking seems to be where kids gravitate.

Facebook Tips:

1. Control panel has settings where you can only let “friends” see your photos.  I think this is wise.  ”Friends of friends” seeing those can lure in predators.
2. Appropriate commenting is important to discuss with your child.  Scripture tells us to build one another up.
3. Advise children to NOT put up posts when the family will be away from home for extended times.
4. You can set their account so that people cannot find them by searching on facebook.  They would have to invite appropriate friends themselves.
5. Sharing “friendship quarrels”.  This is mainly girls.  Providing guidance on how much emotion is appropriate to air and why.
6. Types of photos and why
7. Chatting:  I’ll cover this more below
8. Apps.  Applications like gaming and sending special icons on facebook often ask you to allow “access to your information”.  It is important to NOT run a lot of apps or untrusted apps because they can present security threats to your computer, using by way of “spamming” messages to your facebook account, posting posts you never agreed to post.  If there is an option which says “allow posts without my permission”, DO NOT CHECK IT.
9. Double checking information.  Snopes.com is a great website to run things through before posting.  Missing children’s reports, bizarre sounding news stories, gimmicks.  A lot of these are posted without thought that they may not be true.  It’s the equivalent of gossip.  Don’t repeat it until you check it out to keep credibility.
10. Realize TONE is not communicated in writing, so we have to be careful.
11. Gaming:  While games like “Farm Town” can be fun, realize they need oversight to determine the level of involvement created with strangers.  In ‘Farm Town”, for instance, kids will interact with adults to be “hired” for work.  Generally, this is straightforward, but oversight is good.   Realize that some games are not age appropriate.  Discuss with your kids what games are suitable and which ones you’d prefer them to stay away from.

Facebook Chat

Facebook does not record chat history.  While we are not prying, it’s important to get some spot checks and checkpoints to make sure interactions between guys and girls are on appropriate levels for their age.  ( I believe this is also try for phone chatting/texting.)  I am looking into an extention app to my browser bar to give me tools as a parent I would like to have to check in on this from facebook (I recommend having similar guidelines for electrnic devices).    This app has been taken down everywhere in Google chrome and is only available to Firefox users through facebook at this time.  While I prefer Google Chrome for it’s current viral superiority, readability, and asthetics, I will be switching back to try to keep a handle on this important area.   As to the new Firefox, be aware that it allows history deletion by page or by the last 1, 2, or 4 hours and so on–tnot healthy for families for the most part, though there are times during Christmas season it would have helped me as a mom!

But, Prying?

Back in the day, my parents could pick up the phone at any time.  They made it clear that they paid the phone bill, and they could monitor my conversations, not pry, but spot check.  I was aware.  I had to play by their rules.  I’m glad they set them and it really did help.  Today, things have changed.  Our tools have to change to keep up.  My kids are aware that I will do this, it is my Biblical responsibility according to Proverbs 31  ”She watches diligently over the affairs of her household.”  My kids have not rebelled against oversight, in fact, it seems to make them feel more safe to have some guidelines and oversight.  On rare occasion, I’ve asked them to take a post down if their information has gotten ahead of where it needed to be.  For example, once my child overheard a phone conversation about a reschedule on a children’s play.  That “final” information affected a lot of people and needed to come from her choir leader, not from our post.

That’s all for now.  Hopefully these guidelines will help you begin to keep track of what’s up with your kids.

HOW TO VIEW SVG files for Windows 7- 64 bit

I use SVG files (or Scalable Vector Files) with my Sure Cuts A Lot (SCAL) program for cutting images from files rather than using Cricut Cartridges.  However, since upgrading to Windows 7, I have not found a suitable “fix” for viewing the SVG files in Windows picture viewer.  Even though “SCAL” let me view the files, I can only view them one at a time, and the image is rather small.  I want to be able to view and organize my files without opening SCAL.

“InfranView” a free photo editor I already used for resizing photos, can be used to preview SVGs !  The trick is downloading the correct plugin for it. I tried the “download all current plugins” .  I  and also searched for “svg” on their site and found the exact plug-in that was required.  I installed both of these to be sure I had it!  Some people seem to do the “all” option and still don’t have it, so I did both.

After getting Infranview open, click “thumnails” under “file” menu.  Navigate to your files.   Under “options” you can make your thumbnails as large or as small as you want, and change your background colors.

You can also open an svg in your file folder, then select, under file properties, Infranview to always open this type of file.  You can view images one at a time this way, and larger than in SCAL.

When inside the thunbnail Infranview viewer, you can can view ALL cut files in one folder, you can tell it to include all subfolders so you can see even all the images in your sorted SVGs at one time (as if they are not sorted by file), and you can organize, rename, and copy files into folders to organize.  You can also delete unwanted files.

I could not find a way to create blank files in Infranfiew Thumbnail for creating NEW folders.  A workaround for this is to create “new folders” in your Windows file manager, then just re-open Infranview and rename the “new folders” folders to whatever name you want as you need them.

I upgraded to Windows 7 about four weeks ago and this is the closest I’ve gotten to functionality with my svg files.  Very excited, though I wish Windows would get their act together and just support the file type.

Good luck!

My Review of Free Font Management Programs for Windows 7

A review of three free font programs for Windows 7.

Three Free Font Management Programs:

1. The Font Thing (not for Windows 7, but a workaround can make it useable).
2. Amp Font Viewer
3. Nexus Font Manager

My Uses:

• Publishing
• Scrapbooking
• Cutting with SCAL (Sure Cuts a Lot) and my Cricut personal cutting system.

My Needs:

1. View uninstalled fonts
2. Temporary Font installation
3. View File Categories of Fonts I Have Previously Set Up (not in Windows/Font folder)
4. View multiple fonts in the folders at a time for comparison
5. Run on Windows 7
6. Free
7. Ease of use

Background:

I have Windows 7 set up on two new computers and don’t want to bog down my Windows and Photoshop Elements programs with fonts I only use Occasionally.  I would like to find a way to have fonts available for temporary use.  Windows recommends no more than 500 fonts for smooth sailing.  I had 800 on my last computer.  No real glitches, but PSE took forever to load.  I have not yet tested how all this impacts PSE, but will do so and add to this at a later time.

I researched free font programs and felt these three were the top contenders for my first installation.

I also am not sure how this will work with Sure Cuts a Lot, but I do not appreciate the small size of their internal font viewer, nor that I cannot sort fonts by type for cutting.  I am hoping this will assist me in scrolling through a list of 900 fonts in that program.

1.  The Font Thing

I have always used TFT, but was reading about incompatability with Windows 7.  Upon further research, I found that the installation is actually the only incompatible part, so if you are willing to just download the .exe file and not the installation (installing the program each time you want to use it (your font information is preserve), it will work for you.  It takes no longer to instal than it did to start the program before.  So, you are working around the auto instal by running the .exe file when :you want to use it instead of having the program actually installed in “my programs”.

Limitations of this program:

• it hasn’t been updated since 1999
• it won’t read Open Source fonts (my cutting program, SCAL, won’t cut them anyway, so not a huge drawback for my use)
• it won’t locate uninstalled font folders–a biggie for me because I don’t want to install all my fonts this go-round.  I just want them on hand for temporary installation when I need them to keep from bogging down systems and programs.

So, on to the next download to experiment…

2.  Amp Font Viewer

This program automatically detects folders within a folder when the main folder where the fonts are loaded is found.  It keeps those folders shown as  ”categories” of fonts for me without having to install each subfolder.

It offers the ability to temporarily install fonts when you have the file, or entire category open.  You can uninstall them later, or simply close the program to have them uninstall.

AMP has a great preview page where you can view three rows of fonts simultaneously.  Handy feature.

3. Nexus Font Manager

This program looks nice on the screen, not that it matters to me as long as it’s functional, but a nice perk.

I found it tricky to figure out how to get my uninstalled font folder “categories” , but it’s do-able.  (Under View, deselect “include all subfolders”).  Enter a title for your category (I used My Fonts), then import each individual sub folder one at a time.  This method of font file preserves your file heirarchy so in the even the font software crashes requiring a reinstall, you don’t risk having to recategorize 800 fonts.  Similar to AMPs process.

This program shows all fonts in my folder in a pane, which is very nice.

Currently, I cannot see my full list of categories without scrolling due to the program wanting to give me font foundry information  I don’t need.    If I can figure out how to customize my screen to allow that, it will be nice.

Like AMP, it allows temporary installation of fonts, and uninstallation when the program is closed.

This is a very sharp program, well presented.

So far, I like both programs for different reasons.  I’ll have to use them both a while to see which one works best for me.  Stay tuned!

My Home Page “WORKS FOR ME”

I hate nothing worse than a distracting home page.  I’ve struggled through several in my computer life-time.  Your “home page” is the page that automatically comes up when you click Firefox or Internet Explorer Connection.  You can set your own page rather than Bellsouth or AT&T or whatever you use by clicking Tools|General (tab)|then see the Homepage box where you can put any address. 

Or just go to iGoogle.com and let them set it all up for you!

NOTE on my iGoogle Home Page:  Current weather/To Do List I Can Type On/Vocabulary Word of the Day/Literary Quotes of the Day/Stocks/News Stories of the Day/Cooking Lite Recipes/Spanish Words of the Day/ Cool New Spring Theme that Changes from Day to Night Graphically/One Click Access to Google Mailbox

You can put any tools you want in there from a variety of interests…whatever you want to see when you sit down. 

The discerning will note the NOTE LACK OF: 

Ads of ANY kind/Annoying News I Don’t Like About Actors Lives/Shopping Lures that Distract/Photos of half-nude peoples.

Ahhhh….brain efficiency!

I ♥HEART♥ MY iGOOGLE HOME PAGE!

iTunes Question About Latest Update…Anyone Got Probs?

Any of you iTunes gurus know anything about the update that came through yesterday?  They don’t ask my permission to update, now I can’t convert songs to MP3s for slideshows (AGAIN…why don’t they make up their minds, and let us DO IT!)

Are we going back to having to burn them to CDs and then back to the computer hard drive to get MP3s? 

I needed to do a project quickly and now… total headache…

Any of you heard anything about the status of this? 

I think I’m going to go back to a system restore save of two days ago to undo the upgrade just to get this done more quickly.  What a royal pain. 

(update:  System Restore doesn’t work.  They canned the old version and you HAVE to install the new one for iTunes to run at all.)

(update 2:  you can conver to AAC, I think it is, if the file is not “protected against conversion” and  use those songs.  So, thanks to guys like SCC who let me warm family videos with great artists reminding me of music we loved.  To the rest of you musicians, I hope your purposes are served when no one can use their music for personal use after they bought it for such purposes). 

Maximize Outlook Express

This mainly applies to users of Outlook Express email users. 

I hear people complaining that their email box gets bogged down with tons of email, so they just delete it all. 

I don’t do that,I keep better files in email than in my home! 

1.  Use file folders and message rules.  (Look that up if you don’t know how).  That way, all that is coming into your Inbox is random and can likely be deleted safely with no loss, or you can drag and drop it into a file or flag it so that you know it’s important.

To create folders and message rules: 

To create folders, right click on “inbox” folder,”create new file”, then give a file a name…say “company XYZ”.  Then, go to  go to an email from the compnay XYZ, and click from Message tab at the top of your screen.  Select:  “Create new rule from message”.  Then, let Outlook Express move the incoming emails with Company XYZ in the subject line to folder Company XYZ that I just created.  Those options will come up for you.  The underlined colored words mean you need to click them to fill in the blanks to make your rule.

2.  If you get behind and your computer email deletion (or your computer system is slowing down because of so much email), try this!  Click “SEARCH” on your toolbar in Outlook Express (DO NOT  enter in any “key search words”–leave those fields blank).  Just click the little box at the bottom that says “message has attachments”.  Make sure the file folder showing for search is “Inbox”. 

ALL YOUR EMAILS WITH HUGE ATTACHMENTS SLOWING DOWN YOUR SYSTEM WILL COME UP.  Explore and delete. I sort mine by size so that I can get rid of the biggest first.  A word of advice:  save pics to disc and delete them from email storage.

ESPECIALLY delete all those 2000kb-3000kb files. 

Once you get down to the 100 ones, you are really cleaning it up.  By the time you get to the ones under 100, quit for sure if you haven’t already, unless you are just really in a mood to clean.  Why?  They aren’t worth the time.  The system is already so much faster it’s incredible.

So…there you go.  Click and save it for later if you don’t have time to read it now, if you use Bloglines.  It takes about 15 minutes to set it up and get your current subsciptions going, but saves you tons of time later. 

Hope this helps!

Snowy Day!!!

1.  Hubby, Me, and Both with the FLU 

This is my third day of the flu.  I’m starting to feel flush again.  I just took some Tylenol.  I should feel happy soon.

(Glad you stopped by for a great read now, aren’t you?)

I take some consolation that I feel like Meg Ryan in “You’ve Got Mail”.  She was cute with the flu.  (Thinking of my last reflection in the mirror…not happening.)

I’m not sneezing and sniffling all day today…a great improvement.  Thank you TamaFlu.  (My mother didn’t know what that was…I strongly suggest you Google it and find out if you truly have the flu.  And for those of you who don’t know your sicknesses, stomach upset and/or a sore throat or congestion and a cold do NOT mean you have the flu.)

2.  Snow!  Finally! 

It snowed today.  Less than an inch, I’d say.  It’s so pretty to watch.  Ya’ll know I’ve been praying for snow for several weeks now…as have my kids.  No sledding, but, enough for all three kids to be home from school. And to want to play in the snow.  (Did I mention that I have the flu?)  I went outside in sock feet and no coat to catch a few pics of them, just because I am such a great mom.

3.  My Great Productivity! (and/or Lack Therof) 

I cannot make myself do much productive right now on a normal day, and this is definately not a good therapy program.  Or perhaps it is.  A person can only be so unproductive before they just have to get something done.  perhaps I’ll get there.

4.  FILE DOWNLOAD MANIA (world’s greatest sick day activity)

• free file extractor
• free legal scrabooking papers, elements 

I downloaded 1000 files yesterday.  Yup.  If you have a lot of files that need unzipping (extracting) at one time, I highly recommend Unzip Them All, a multi-file extractor.  Made my work a ton easier, faster…happy girl.  (By work, I  use the term very loosely…as in, clicking…a lot [something I found I could do while my head was pounding...as I sneezed...a lot...and my nose dripped...endlessly {I'll stop here...I'm running out of paranthetical choices}]). 

Anyway, I got lots of freebie scrapbooking stuff to play with for my own personal use, legally. >>> Happy Girl.  Lots of good sites out there.  (A lot of alphabet tiles come one alpha per each letter, per cap, lower case, number…that’s 82 files per each alphabet.  That’s a lot of files).

5.  Virus Protection (aka:  the fear of downloading files) 

I’ve had a lot of questions about the safety of these files.  Most of these women really want to make money from sales of their designed lots for sale on the site, so my guess is, they are not going to be downrated sending us a viral file.  Others are just addicted to the hobby and love the praise.  Which leads me to good virus software to help check incoming files. 

AVG was a free online antivirus program I used for years.  They decided to go all paid this January.  Avast!  is the new FREE kid on the block.  They offer a free daily updating online viral service that is faster than AVG, doesn’t hang up my email quite to the extent AVG did, and overall, I’ve been well pleased. 

6.  The flu makes me extremely hungry.  FOUR snacks since I started writing.  Geez!  (Two Lindt Chocolate Truffles [my fav!]–my son’s left over peanut butter and jelly “pile of a mess”, left-over mac and cheese cup….oyster crackers, and apple jacks).  I think that was FIVE snacks.  Gosh.

7.  Fish‘s Proverbs Challenge Gets My Living Room Cleaned! 

Personally, I’m wading through Psalms this year, totally blown away every time I sit and soak. 

But, when I heard Fish‘s goal to hit Proverbs, I decided to add that (as God led) also.  Twice now this year, I’ve utilized devotions with the kids in Proverbs when they’ve stopped listening and started acting foolish.   Winter (“Huh?  What?  Did you say something ?  I didn’t hear you!” to everything I seem to say!!!)  We are together so much I think they block the sound of my voice altogether.  I don’t blame them.  I want to do the same. 

But, God calls people who don’t listen and don’t act “wisely” –don’t do what teachers tell them, don’t seek good direction and counsel, don’t listen to parents–he calls them:   foolish, idiots, and ”bent on hell”.  (The Message).  The kids were astounded at the “harsh language” as they called it.   They had trouble even reading it out loud because we don’t use those words in my home.  Yet, I pointed out to them that when they acted as they had been several times today, they were playing the role.  I think it hit home some with my 10 yr. old.  We’ll see!  (It’s a long term investment, it’s a long-term investment, it’s a …)

Afterwards, they cleaned the living room in 5 minutes flat…and I’ve been fighting the war of strewn stuff all week, to little avail!  Thank you, Lord!

   

How Do Christian Parents Handle “MySpace”?

A friend recently spoke with me in concern regarding her preteen’s son desire to get into MySpace.  We were both baffled with how much things have changed since we were teens. 

Honestly, I think that constant interaction with other kids on cell phones and computers is more counterproductive than the scares of MySpace in and of itself, but that’s another conversation.  I think kids need breaks from their peers.

In any case, I just read a great article  here which will help you, as a parent, discuss worst case scenarios, as well as up and coming Christian alternatives available.

Do you have MySpace pros and con stories to share here to help prepare parents?  If so, pipe in.  Those of us “bringing up the rear”…er, coming along behind you, bringing up our own children, will benefit from the experience.

Blessings!

Maggie 

  

Kudos to Adaware

Well, I wrote a post last night, but it got deleted.  Getting Explorer errors a lot in the last few days. 

I ran Adaware…a free viral program for Windows.  If you don’t have it…get it.  Running it about once a month is just way cool, and you don’t have to pay a monthly subscription to McAfee or whatever. 

It’s not just viruses you have to worry about.  It’s MALware that slow down my system and disrupt windows most of the time.  Two totally different creatures.  Mal-ware hogs computer resources by tracking and tracking and tracking you (in which case the word “AND ” no longer rings lovely as yesterday, eh?)

Companies want to know where you go and how to market to you.  This is malware. 

Occassionally, you just need to clean house and get rid of all tracking cookies that aren’t like statcounter or sitemeter.  All the tracking just starts to overwhelm Explorer.  They are not stealing critical information necessarily…just tracking you…to a fault. 

HOW they get on there…I have no “idear”.  (That’s how the Brit’s say idea–with an “R” on the end…I always thing it’s… funny).

So, that’s computing 101 for today.  If you are running Explorer (which I am, because our parental controls are of no value with Firefox as of yet [and are of little value with Explorer it seems at times), get Adaware.  Update and run it once a month or whenever your system gets sluggish.

Thank me later.

New Views–New Everything

This is the new view from where I’ll be standing Sunday.  Exciting.  New place to host Upward…a phenomenally growing program to reach kids in our area with sports.  We’ve outgrown out current seating for the contemporary service.  So…our expansion meant, a gym. 

The sound system is cool.  Not that we can figure it out quite yet.  It’s on some sort of computerized delay so that the live sound hits the back of the room first and times itself to keep the echo — keeps bounce and natural delays to a minimum. 

See the ”baffles” hung on the walls (the dark squares seen here)…they take the bounce down to a minimum!  Amazing the difference. 

New touch sensitive keyboard for the grand piano guy that I played with a bit last night…very nice underscoring and invitation sounds on it.  Although I think the keys would fatigue my fingers as hard and long as we jam. 

New:  video feed.  Wow.  Playing on a cam.  Why does the thought of that make my stomach knot up?  Talk about being put on the spot.  But, ivery cool…”life” it will no doubt add. 

We will now see the words all the way up above the crows nest now rather than on TVs hung 20 feet away.  Better wear your specs!  Everything is so new and so high tech we can’t even figure out where the power button is. 

New:  earphone monitors where you can adjust everything you hear in the band on your own to get what YOU want and need.  We didn’t get nearly that far last night and probably won’t for Saturday.  I don’t know that I’ll like not hearing the congregation, and we don’t have crowd mics yet.  So…that will be a minus for me on that I’m sure.  No doubt we’ll be able to hear “us”…but it’s about response to “them”.  As long as the leader can hear them, we’ll probably be okay.  Any body else use them? 

I show up last night for our first sound board learning practice: new parking lots was laid, couldn’t find a place to park the lot was so full, and my orientation outside was totally off.  A gazillion people there for a funeral in the other sanctuary, yet we could still blow the roof off and have practice in the new place!   At least we didn’t have to take down the set for it and put it back up later in the week! 

More pics later…couldn’t interupt the funeral taking pics.

Safe & Successful Christian Blogging: Thoughts & Tips

THOUGHTS ON SAFE & SUCCESSFUL CHRISTIAN  BLOGGING

Blogging is a great outlet for the person who needs/wants to connect with others, share, learn, digest information, or gain some accountability for life.  It is for the person who needs to “process” thoughts and information to stay healthy.  It is for the aspring writers who like to practice writing and even get a few cheers along the way.  It’s great for the professional who works a lot,  or the stay at home mom who finds energy to socialize at odd hours. 

Obviously, inherent to blogging and any Internet community, there is the element of risk and responsibilty.  Sticklers for such a fun excercise, but are wise to weight some thoughts and directions we can go.   

There are those of you, who, like me, have friends who have met people of the opposite sex online or who have had inappropriate things happen on line or by email…it is a concern not to be taken lightly.  Even the most guarded can fall into trapps of too much emotional closeness, even online.  We have to have healthy relational boundaries and even be able to pull away from folks who are pulling at our heartstrings…I’m speaking in regard to those of the opposite gender.   Just because there is no physical proximity doesn’t mean we aren’t pulling people away from their families, or them ours.   Priorities with time and in steering people toward appropriate resources are a skill we much learn as we become skilled ministers. 

 As our pastor says, “Don’t live in fear…that is not of God; DO be wise and use caution.”   

Blogging DOES provide accountability over straight email or IMs.   There are records of conversations and interations…in and others read…in that sense, it’s a great tool. 

A FEW GUIDELINES TO CONSIDER:

These are a few things I do to stay healthy and balanced (most of the time).  They are not ultimatums.  You may try some, all, or none of them, but hopefully it will challenge you to think about what it right and good for you and yours.  

Invite your spouse to your blog…send them your link at work to posts of fun family blogs, pictures they’d enjoy thatyou’ve posted.  Many spouses don’t have time to read a lot at work and don’t want to read a women’s world, but one or to links to specific posts a month keeps them involved with something tender and personal in your life.  Invite them to read anytime.  Sometimes when I seem tired or hard to understand, I’ll find my husband reading my blog to get a sense of what’s been nagging at me.  To write, in general, is often easier for me than talking.

Except for odd circumstances, I would not keep your blog a secret or something totally foreign to your spouse.   

Why?  You ask.  Well,  we are sharing intimate things about ourselves and our lives.  Helping readers identify and connect with us can lead us to say strange things, some we should not be writing.  For instance, once, early in blogging. I read a Christian lady’s blog who said, “I was salivating sitting there, pumping my gas, as I watched a couple men in their masculine uniforms walking out of the gas station, drinking their Orange Crushes, that hot summer afternoon.”  She followed that with,  “I hope my husband never reads this!  That’s why I don’t tell him about my blog!” 

We all know you are human and “real” without that.  Skip it.  Honor your family and your man. 

Invite accountability partners to your blog. Blogs are a good break from the normal, but my close friends who read and can check up on me keep it real, honest, and accountable.  Ask for checks from close friends so that you don’t get lost in cyberspace!  Yeah, it can be addictive at times!  Hard to imagine, eh?
 

Be sensitive. Be yourself, let your hair down, but…you are publishing. We can vent, but this is not a private journal.  While thoughts are often unfinished, in process, tired, or frustrated…guard yourself, or edit as the Holy Spirit leads.  More than once, I’ve written in frustration, gone to shower or work in the yard, and have to prance my little self right back to the screen to edit something that could be taken personally or the wrong way, and the Holy Spirit reminds me.  Follow that lead.  When I don’t listen, I get calls and wish I’d listened.  It’s not paranoia most often, it’s a ”check”, at least for me.   Now, some out there will say:   “Blog real, don’t go back and edit.  Just let it fly.  That’s what makes blogging so real and fresh.” 

I don’t advise blogging for discussing relational problems.  You can blog vaguely, but use caution.  Use Bibilical guidelines for solving problems.  Don’t embarrass even people who’ve been rude and thoughtless to you.  Email the person…better yet, talk, get together, pray, wait on the Lord, or just ignore them.  Blogging about it can hurt them, and will stress you and others.  

Here’s a big one:  Christian blogging is not a place to be someone else, or create an alter ego who is some fantasy person. It IS a place to continue to be real and honest.  

The tricky thing:  Having said that, I do not use my own name to try to protect privacy of my family and pics of my kids, but I try to stay true to who I am and invite real women I trust who keep me in check by hanging out here and commenting or emailing.  Whether or not to use your own name is a personal choice.  There is not a “right” choice for everyone.  Ialso volunteer for international ministries, some areas not secure.  If you plan to do that and ever link to your own blog…security has to be a consideration for you.  So…let wisdom and your comfort level guide.

How to Create Safe Community:   Link to families who demonstrate a commitment to family with their honoring pictures, positive affirmations, and life building.  I’m not saying they never voice a frustration, but consistent edification (encouragement) needs to be seen, especially between spouses.  Use blogging to build your family or gain support for it, not tear it down. 

Actually, since I started, I’ve found myself more and more THANKFUL for my family.   I CELEBRATE FAMILY!  It’s a great way to do that.  I love to honor them with words that will last.

Keep email exchanges healthy.  Many blogs today do ask for your email address, so don’t comment unless you have a plan to protect your address.  Choose an email address and even a “from” title in your emails which does not reveal your name, especially if you are a young lady.  I would only comment on blogs which show a strong commitment to family and Christian/family values, or have another plan in place…I’ll share mine next:

Create an alternate family email address to use on-line.  I use another .com service bounces all my mail to my primary service.  My cost is about $10.00US a YEAR for the second account.  Why?

1. When I sign up for things on the net, I’m not giving out my primary email. 
2. Mail goes through several spam filters before it gets to me. 
3. Dependability:  Double email is great for travel or outages of my primary service.  Often mail that is too large for my primary address is not too large for email.com.
4. I can check the some email when I’m out of town I need to with my webmail account.
5. Web mail is safer than using my primary account which has my real name on it.  I’m not blogging for fame or name recognition anyway.  Protecting names, location and pictures of me and my kids is important at times.  
6. Use a “web name” to comment if you are more comfortable for any reason. 
7. Finallly, you do NOT have to list your location on most blog services.  Just say “US” or “Western US” or something if you want.

How Do I Choose a Blog Address or Name?   Keep name choices family-oriented if you want to stay safe, especially as a woman. (Calling yourself “hot thing” is probably not going to help you stay safe, though it may make you feel great and hubby may call you that.)  Addresses?  I am 5purposedriven.  Note the FIVE.  Anyone who reads knows immediately that I’m committed to this little unit we call “family”.  Then, the blog spot is “Magnanimity” with the definition in the sidebar.  Something like that gives indication to your commitments and helps draw in people with similar standards and will probably bore others (unfortunately, and fortunately).   We all go through seasons when we are more vulnerable at times–these things help protect.

Other Random Tips

1. Watch the types of pics you post of yourself, especially full body shots.  I would only post a head shot or part of a head shot in my profile pic.  If you post on down toward your cleavage, it is hard for people to not think “visually” when they read the blog.    Pics of just you can be distracting to readers, or a spouse who walks by and wonders why there is a full bodied person of any kind on the screen.   
2. You can encourage your spouse to blog, and link to each other.  This is a great idea, and it works for some people not others.  Great way for young parents to stay connected.  (It doesn’t work for us–my husband doesn’t have time to write.  He’s too busy keeping me in line.)
3. Blogging Frequency:  Evaluate your blog goals each season.  Ask God to guide your pacing.  Is family your top priority?  Take a break if he says take a break.  Let readers know if you plan on a break and for how long.  Regular posting keeps blog communities and your link “alive”.  Encourage readers to subsribe to bloglines so that they can follow you no matter how often (or infrequently) you post.  No big deal, just stay consistent with posting, or explain your goals.
4. Comments:  And this is hard:  keep the encouragement flowing, but keep it short and to the point.  Be careful of flirtatious or frequent joking and banter in comments cross gender, even to keep a site upbeat and funny.  It’s easily mis-ead if comments are ”out there”, constantly drawing attention.  Your tone with others sets others tone in commenting.  So…be wise.
5. Don’t be afraid to disagree with the writer or expand on what they say, especially after you’ve demonstrated good rapport on the site.  That’s what keeps blogging fun and works your mind.  Healthy comments round out a blog and expand the thoughts of a cranky, tired, or frustrated one (of which I have been!). 

CONTENT:  How do I write?  About what?

• Mix content.  Some people say to keep your blog limited to a narrow subject matter in order for it to be successful.  I disagree in Christian blogging.  I think it’s good to keep yourself and your posts well rounded to maintain readership.  I’ve seen over and over again where people will pass up fifteen formal looking article links to get to one Google choice that seemed “real”–a healthy discussion from a real person with real people commenting and discussing rather than some “directive” a church or business published on the same subject.  Real.  Authentic. Relevant.  Thoughtful.
• Use some Scripture:  Use it, work it in, but be careful and mix it into your post well.  Keep access to truth there as you think and consider.  Show people how to use the word, and how God uses it, the body of Christ, and and prayer in your life.  Don’t use churchy language on every single post…just talk about your life, or problems, or interests.  (This is a personal preference…some keep different blogs for different things, and there are reasons for that as well.)    
• Comments are life to the blog, but they are not everything. I’ve heard it say that healthy commenting indicates a healthy and active blog.  I disagree.  Sometimes the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to commenting.  Sometimes, it’s obvious you are not wanting to socialize that day–people respect that in a thoughtful post.  It depends some on YOUR personality.  But people still read.  I get several hundred “first click” hits here a day…but I’ve not emphasizing commenting.  It also depends some on how many people locally who get the comments going.  I’m in an area not as exposed to blogging, and have not advertised with local friends…that makes a difference.  People aren’t accustomed to “commenting” to make blog interactions bounce back and forth.   A sitemeter can help guide you as to what your most effective blogging entries are.  www.Sitemeter.com is a great service and does an excellent joy, especially for blogger users.  Other services like typepad and WordPress have statcounters built in.  
• A blog CAN also be healthy with NO people visiting!  It just depends on what you want to use it for, and the direction it is going.  A personal journal doesn’t need any visitors, though it may get a few here and there.  You do NOT have to list the blog publically so that it is not listed with search engines.  A search engine can still pick it up, but it’s not nearly as likely as when RSS readers are picking it up.  You can turn On or OFF the RSS feed.  If you are a private person, turn it off.  If you want to evangelize, keep it ON.
• Encourage commentors.  A short note saying: “Thanks for visiting! I like the insight!” using your alias email account can help people feel welcome and valued.  Encourage new commentors with something simple. I’ve not had a problem with this getting out of hand with blogging, but email can get out of hand with a “needy” person. 

Review:  SiteMeter.com or Statcounter.com (free online trafficking tools)  You won’t get names, but you see address locations of incoming clicks, view search terms used to find you, and see other fun information you’ll become addicted to enjoy.

WITH SECURITY CONCERNS AND LIMITED TIME?  WHY BLOG?

Ultimately, because God leads you to.  If He wants you to invest “life” in anything…you just know it’s for you.  Beyond that thought, connecting with people in the body across the globe is a good idea. 

• It increases the “oneness” of the body of Christ across the world. 
• It lets people “see” our lives who never could or would otherwise. 
• The body of Christ is not utilizing technology enough.  It’s free, it’s real, it’s out there.  We need to have a presence!

We have the honor and responsibility to disciple, support, teach, and help others.  Do we really want non-Christians to learn about “real life” from tabloids and TV!  (Last night, a commercial said  “really live in Vegas!”  …I’m just sayin’.)

Be “in and not of”.

TIME: 

Purpose takes time.  Anything does.  Blogging can take TOO MUCH time, depending.  I’ve gotten out of balance with it on occasion–meaning, beyond what I thought God was calling me to at the time at the sacrifice of my family, or other responsibilities (just maintaining a computer has that effect on most of us).   Again, just take a break if you need it, letting readers know you are taking some time off if they are expecting you.  Do other things.  “Life”  keeps you alive and balanced.! Ultimately, your time is the Lord’s, so just listen to him!  Habits or entertainment or obligatory service to fill your time can’t surpass obedience, right?  That’s where the real life is! 

SPAM:    Mine is awful.  I get 100 spam comments a day at this point and I do not try to go fetch good comments which may have been caught by Askiment…Wordpress’s attempt to “help”.  Blogger uses either letter verification or comment moderation…you can turn those on to help.  It’s a pain, but part of web life.  I just choose to delete without reading at all these days.

BLOGGING FOR GROUPS?  ABSOLUTELY!

You can have multiple authors on a site.   Multiple moderators.  Multiple pages hosting multiple blogs.  You can do Bible study, keep youth groups connected through college years…keep people updates on the progress of a ministry!  There are all kinds of creative ways to blog.

TO CLOSE:

Ask me questions here or here!  Join in!

(See how I just EMBEDDED, “hid”,  my email address under a “link”?  This is easy, and helps with spam.)

READERS:  WHAT SAFEGUARDS HAVE YOU USED IN THE PAST AND FOUND HELPFUL?

I’d love to have more local leaders using blogging as a tool and resource for groups. Get in touch if you want more information as to how you can set them up.  (You can have as many contributing authors as you like and still maintain administrative license.)

WordPress.com Review

One week in, having trouble finding a theme I REALLY like.  I’ll try a few more and see what I like best.  It’s like getting  new clothes, but cheaper.  Editing a template you didn’t like one or two things about was a well known plus for blogger.  So many of the ones I like here have a eye visibility strain factor in either the header, or down the left hand margin of the text–it looks like a “graduated” old computer look under text I’m trying to read.  My eye just can’t take it. UPDATE:  I just determined that changing my color setting from 16 bit to 32 bit helped with this problem, but I don’t know that we can count on most viewers having that setting.

WordPress after One Week: 

Minuses:  The fixed templates are a minus at WordPress.COM.  No easy font size changes.  Limited approved templates.  Few across the screen panels for blogging.  I know, I know, the eye can scan a smaller column better.  But, some of my posts are longer articles and I hate scrolling a lot, too! 

Pluses

1.  You can “date post” your posts.  I can set a post to go out tomorrow, or the next day, or “back-post” if it needs to go in last June’s set. (You should be able to set it to post forward as well, but there seems to be a problem with the feature.  It posts the date correctly, but doesn’t deliver the post at the time you set it.  This could have to do with not clicking the “change date” box the very first time you publish…I’ve not finished researching my theory.  The forum hasn’t seemed to figure out a solution yet.  One said it’s due to time differences, but that didn’t pan out.) 

2.  I can set a password for any post I don’t want public, but just want to share with a few people (for edit or privacy).

3.  Categories.  Enough said. Awesome feature I can’t live without any longer.

4.  You can post “slugs” (allows search engines to find certain keywords identifying your posts read by search engines.  This is AWESOME.  My stats have gone up astronomically since I started taking the time to slug well.

5.  You can list a post as public or private (not sure the use of it yet).  I used it once to get editorial comments before publishing.  Just sent the password to the person and asked for feedback before it went it.  It did leave a title with a blank (you are not allowed to view this post without a password) on my site.  I’m not sure how to get around that yet.

6.  I can type as many “static pages” as I want  for informational purposes, accessible all the time!  I really like this (not offered in blogger). 

Unknowns: 1.  I still don’t know how to upload pics as quickly as “hello” did for blogger using Flash technology.

Update:  I’ve figured that one out!  I’ll post an instructional blog soon.  I had a hard time following WordPress’s FAQ on pics.

UPDATES TO THIS POST

PICTURES:

 WordPress Forum Entry on Hello Problems in Blogger:  Hello pics imported in fine, but CAN disappear after a few days after being hosted at WordPress.  Apparently the “Hello” program for blogger doesn’t like WordPress using their pics.  You can “edit” the page and they’ll show up again on republish…for a day or so.  Then…gone.  HOWEVER, I noticed even the WordPress FAQ pictures in the help tutorial are missing and have been for a week.  Not sure where the error is there.  I’ve got an email in to them and hope they get it cleared up.  Update:  pics seem to be restored at present.

VIDEO: 

WordPress’s video uploader affiliate?  Sounds great to quickly upload videolog to WordPress.  I almost had my own account, but read some quirky sounding useages in their “terms of use” agreement.  While you do own the video without question, they said that they and their affiliates own the right to use any part of it, any way they like, for any use they want, without your knowledge or consent–any part or whole.  Hmmm.  Not so sure about that one.  A reality prone to happen posting on the web anyway, but to agree to it?   YouTube” TOS is similar. 

Update:  Boing Boing today offers some insight on video TOS’s:  YouTube’s New Policy:  We Own Your Content.  Makes sense.  A least one of the mentioned ceases to own any rights to the video if you every remove it.  This protects you quite a bit, actually.

Thanks for reading.   I’ll keep updating as I get used to WordPress.com!  Great work WordPress team!

UPDATE AFTER THREE WEEKS:

Pro:  On site stats.  This could be refined to do some of what statcounter and sitemeter offer at their best.  But, it’s fun to watch.  You get page views rather than true blog site visits, so the stats are a bit inflated, but the way I see it, if they view a couple pages, getting credit is okay.  I’m not sure how “clickbacks” are handled as far as numbers. 

Pro:  Easy to edit.  No crashes doing 3-4 edits, and it generally takes me that many. Blogger always seemed to crash.

Pro:  Great email feedback on problems.  Wow.  All I can say.  Within a day or so.  They ask good questions, have a great humor and attitude, and I’m impressed.

Pro:  Pics upload FAST…once you figure out how to size them before uploading.  I really think they could benefit from downsizing to the size they prefer for you, but all in good time. I’m using the free Infrarview and it’s working nicely…I just have to keep a folder for “downsized” pics to upload to WordPress.

Pro:  Community through your “tags” or “categories”.  You can click your categories on the post and find others blogging about the same subject matter.  Cool!

Pro:  Great work with getting me listed with Google–somehow.  I’ve been here three weeks, my stat numbers have quadrupled, I have many first page listings with Google.  It’s a whole nother world.  Go wordpress.com!

“Mag” 

   

YouTube’s new policy says: we own your content.

A week ago, I sent a concerned letter to WordPress regarding the TOS for the video hosting service they were pimping who make it easy to link on WordPress.  The wording was similar to YouTube, apparently: they own it.   Any part of it. 

I didn’t read YouTube’s, I read Grouper’s, which may be similar.  Groupers said, they can publish it, they or any of their “associates” can dismantle and use any part, any way they want: any song, picture, or video, WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.

I did not finish the sign up due to concerns, more thinking of my kids than any artistry, though I think that is warranted.    

Obviously, with so many people posting other people’s YouTube content on their blogs, they have to give a heavy disclaimer.  But this seems a bit much.  In the article link above from Boing Boing, a reader says that in looking at the whole TOS agreement, if you pull your stuff off of YouTube, their ownership is over and they have to stop using it.  So,  there is some protection I suppose, if you know your stuff is being used against your wishes.   

Before you post too much of your own work, you may want to review the TOS just to be sure your comfortable with the terms.  Link: 

YouTube’s new policy says: we own your content. UPDATED

  

Qs Answered: CHANGE YOUR LINKS!

Some have made comments about the new format.  A little Q and A:     

Why do many blog layouts only take up a small margin of the page?  A current WordPress thing.  Most blogs are setup this way.  The narrow margin is supposed to make the layout suitable for various screen resolutions, phones, mobiles, and computer screens. I’ve looked into wider margin templates, but, at this time, they seem too unrefined for such a highly polished person as myself. 

Can you post more pictures?  We miss pictures! I know.  Me, too.  Right now, I’m in a writing phase anyway, so it’s not been an issue I’ve tried to figure out.  I am posting a few and hope they are coming through.  Until then, you may look at the photo albums in the margin.

Can you post pictures in your margin?  We liked those?  I know how, just cleaning up the page for a while.  There is a picture in “about” and the photo album links are still active.

Can we have you over for dinner or bring you food?  I’m sure writing takes some time!  (That’s about as bad as “Where can we send donations?”  I find it hard to believe people really ask that.)  So I made this question, but free food and/or fun fellowship is always good!  

What does Magnanimity mean?  I sure can’t say it!  “Magnanimity”…have your opponent spell THAT one backward in your next riveting game of Cranium!  So I made this question up, too, but I knew you’d ask.

After a few day’s consideration, I decided on a new blog name– ”Magnanimity” (see “about” , an adverb based on the adjective “magnanimous”.  This particular word that flew at me from every direction a year or so ago — I had to look it up:  “Magananimous”:  mid 1800s, from the Latin roots magnus great + animus spirit)  meaning:  to show or suggest a lofty and courageous spirit; show or suggest NOBILITY OF FEELING and GENEROSITY OF MIND;  (Webster’s). COURAGEOUSLY NOBLE IN MIND AND HEART; GENEROUS IN FORGIVING; TURNING FROM RESENTMENT OR REVENGE:  UNSELFISH (dictionary.com).

And a dear friend defined it for me as simply: “big-heartedness”.  I like that.  Magnanimous. The heart of Jesus to us, and through us.  That’s what the word means to me.  That pursuit.  That purpose.    

Like it?  Let me know what you think! (And update your blogroll, AGAIN, soon…today… por favor!) 

Still can’t say it?  Well, me neither.   Um…call me “Maggie”, or “Mag” for short!–I like it!   

Using WordPress Categories or “Tags” Well

If you blog WordPress, you need to know that your category subjects are very important.  Tags (slugs, in wordpress) and categories DO NOT function the same.  

Click the category words at the top of your posts.  I am assuming the viewer gets taken where you do…to blogs of other WordPress.com users who are currently posting in the same category subject as you–they are NOT taken to YOUR category posts.  This is a great way to find bloggers who are interested in the same subjects as you! 

This could be helpful…or not.  Say, if you list, say “Sex” as your category title , as I did last week, realice if a Christian clicks on those words, they are not taken to other related posts because of your category title.  I learned this by clicking my own category word.  Only those “searching” would even click around enough on your posts for this to be an issue most likely.   I didn’t want that mixed content so I renamed “Sexuality and Relationships”.  This takes them to a page full of other posts I’ve written on the subject because nobody else has published in that category title.  I’m not trying to isolate them to MY posts, but useful posts to them.

If you want to find friends with the same interests as you:  Choose common category names.  (I tried to be cutesy the first few days and realized I was losing a good resource WordPress offers.)

If you want people to find your blog by the most popular key words, check the “tag cloud list” wordpress publishes the most often tagged key words.