Should Christians Flirt?

An update to this post that deserves our attention is  a quote from  this site:

If you are genuinely interested in a relationship with your date then flirting with them will help them know this is the case. Don’t be shy of expressing your personality and your genuine interest in the person you are meeting with. Flirting is only wrong if you are simply playing with the emotions of the other person and are not intending to go on into a relationship with that person.”

So, there is a level of flirting that shows interest in a person for dating purposes that probably even bleeds into early starts to relationships thereafter.  We need to determine where that starts and when it should stop, and answer a few other questions of interest.   How do we pursue godly relationships?  Should we stop, or check ourselves, and under what circumstances? 

Note:  I continue to add to, and re-write this information based on feedback and resources that come to my attention.  If it’s of interest to you, check back for revisions and new information.  

I wrote a series of articles back in the fall on maturing Christian relationships.  Since, I frequently get hits from searches like “Should Christians flirt”?  I told my husband I finally wrote a web post in response.  He said, “A post?  Doesn’t that require like a one word answer?”  Well, not really.  There is a lot of discussion going on with the topic, especially with all the talk on the web downplaying anything less than outright nudity and lewdness.  I think it’s something we need to explore together.

Consider these opinions from on advice to give to a Christian friend who excessively flirst on a  Message Board.  For the sake of time, here are a few viewpoints I hear increasingly:  Evaluate your current opinion as you read, then we’ll discuss.  I’m not a member of that board and did not feel inclinded to join, but I will post my response here.  Here are a few of the comments of note:

• “I’ve forgotten the chapter in the bible that says flirting is wrong.  Can you refresh my memory?  Thanks!”
• “From my point of view flirting means making others feel good about themselves.  Its not always a bad thing to do that. is it? “
• “the bible is very clear on this matter; flee all appearances of evil – and that is what you should tell him and you also – run for your life.”
• “So wats da BIG deal if your friend flirts, not like he/she kills “
• “i believe flirting without shagging is no sin “
• “maybe the poster needs to use a different word from flirt because as far as i am concerned, Nothing is wrong with flirting. A serious  christian can flirt, its got nothing to do with faith.  its all about making people feel better about themselves.  A lot of people suffer inferiority complex as it were and flirting with them helps boost their ego.  its either you are too spiritual or just plain jealous because yuo don’t know how to flirt. Its not easy sha!”

So…we have some questions to answer that I think deserve attention.  If there answer is a clear “No”, there would not be so much confusion.  If the word of God is meant to guide us on important things, surely there IS an answer to help us in relationships. 

First, I’m going to list some scriptures that come to mind to help reset our thinking, then we’ll go back to some of these ideas.   Sound good?  Okay, let’s get started.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY, IF ANYTHING? 

 

1.  Proverbs 1:4

4 [the wise Proverbs of Solomon to his son, written] for giving prudence to the simple, for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young-

 5 let the wise listen and add to their learning,
       and let the discerning get guidance-

 6 for understanding proverbs and parables,
       the sayings and riddles of the wise.

 7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
       but fools ^[a] despise wisdom and discipline.

       knowledge and discretion to the young-

What does “prudence” mean?  Just from the context here, it is someone who seeks to be led by wisdom, knowledge, instruction, and discipline, as opposed to the fool.

————————————–*

  2.  Proverbs 8:5

You who are simple, gain prudence;
       you who are foolish, gain understanding.

I  learn here that even the simple minded person can be “prudent”.  Even those who’ve acted foolishly in the past can gain understanding to benefit themselves and others.

————————————–*

3.  Proverbs 8:12
“I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence; I possess knowledge and discretion.

SO, FROM THESE VERSES, WHAT DO CAN WE LEARN?  WHAT QUESTIONS DO WE STILL HAVE?

1. Prudence and wisdom and learning and discipline go together.  They are highly valued.  They keep us safe.  They promote integrity of heart and character.
2. Can a “prudent” person be a “fun-loving” person?  Can a prudent person give a compliment, or make someone smile, or help someone’s self esteem?  We’ll look at that as we go along.

Let’s consider just a couple New Testamant verses first, just to try to get ourselves some foundation of thinking to build on.

Going to BibleGateway.com and searching under the keyword “words” (you’ll need to select “show all” and even go to the small pg 2 at the bottom to see New Testament verses).  There is much to read and absorb.  Not all of what we are considering is “words”, but I think it’s a great starting point we can move from.  We have to start somewhere.

For now, let’s look at a few I will choose to start with and see if we begin to build a foundation for ourselves on this thing.  Ready to dig?  It may seem to take a while to get to the meat, but we need secure pegs to hang other information on.  Buckle up for a wild ride.  There are going to be some bumps ahead. 

BUILDING OUR FOUNDATION:

Jeremiah 15:19
Therefore this is what the LORD says: “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them.

Well, that’s no good.  We ask, what in the world does that say about flirting?  Let’s get some pegs going.  We do learn a few things.   God uses repentant people, not stubborn people.  (We need to be willing to learn).  Words ARE powerful, contrary to much popular “emergent” opinion.  (Consider:  By God’s spoken word, the world came into being and was created.  Words have power, to build up, or to tear down.  Jesus himself was called “The word of God made flesh” [book of John].) 

In this verse , God is telling the prophet Jeremiah that he could be a spokesmen for God, but under under some conditions: walking in a humble repentance regarding his own sin, saying “worthy and not worthless words”, and stubborness (when he says that people may turn to him (agree with him), but that he was not to “turn to them” [agree with them]). 

How do we to communicate with people well without caving?  One commentor on the message board excused flirting if it was done to bring someone to Christ.  Hmmm.  Making people feel good is not a bad thing…we want to gain friendships and respect.  Being kind and a blessing to people ig good–also what God calls us to.   We need to learn some “fine lines” involved to stay on target.

Sound too serious for such a fun loving topic?  Keep reading a bit further before you decide, and know this:  the word of God is a puzzle, revealing itself to those willing to search for hidden things.   We want to be “seekers of truth”.   Come on, Seeker, let’s keep moving.

BUILDING ON A STRONG FOUNDATION, Part 2

Matthew 7:26
But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.

Luke 6:49
But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.”

Ouch.  Okay, so what do we learn there?  I don’t know about yoy, but, I know that I want to build the “house” of my life  on the solid rock of truth, not on ideas that fall and trap me the minute I relax or stop looking, having potential to totally destroy me, and others around me “the moment the TORRENT strikes that house”.  

Is this that kind of issue?  Listen, anything that compromises truth in our lives and leads us to believe lies HAS that kind of destructive potential.  I hate to be the first to tell you if I am, but, then again, that’s WHY I’m taking time to explore this baby with such dedicated purpose.  I hope you are convinced to continue.  I know I am.

Let’s see more:

 Matthew 24:35
Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

Words that agree with Jesus’s words/ideas/truth have staying power.  Everything else will fade away and be useless.  I don’t know about you, but I want my words, my impact on the world to last.  I don’t want my impact, my “encouragment” and all my well-meaning plans to be “disposable”.  I want the staying power of steal, iron, diamonds…not plastic, paper, and other perishables.  I want to give the permanent.  My life IS permanent as a Christian, and I want my “fruit” (described in Galations) to be lasting.  I want to give back to the Lord something for all he’s done for me, giving his very life.

So…here’s another one I stumbled on: 

Luke 1:20
And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their proper time.”

In Bible times, often the gift of speech was taken away for a time.  Is it possible that our words (and our doubt) can get in the way of God’s purposes?  Is it possible that he disciplines us, in some way, if not the loss of voice, for inappropriately expressing ourselves?  It seems so. He wants us to learn that much. 

So, What About Jesus’s Words?  How did he set standards for speech?

John 6:63
The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.

 John 14:24
He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

Jesus’s words were not just passing words.  They are ”spirit”, and they are “life”.  His words had great power.  His words establish truth for us.  His words bring health, healing, cleansing, and direction.  His words are not his own, but what he hears from the Father.  His speech is submissive (he’s not just saying anything that comes to mind, but saying what is in alignment with the Father’s purposes, and with Truth).  He gives thought to what he says.  It was important.  Not just who he was, but what he said.  He was what he said.  That reminds me of this verse:

Luke 6:45
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Are words just “words”?  Or do they express what is hidden in the heart of a person?  This verse says, “Yes”.  Words show what we value, what our motives are, and where we struggle.  They show if we are genuine, or if we are insincere.  They show if we have needs, and they show if we have wisdom.  Words are a “fruit” of our maturity.  Communication is important…the condition of our hearts is even more important. 

WORDS ALONE? 

1 Corinthians 2:4
My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power,

This says that what most affects people at times is NOT our words, not our delivery or style (indirect communication or even nonverbal communication).  These are important to learn skill and discipline in, but my point here is:  people can be touched deeply and in a lasting way by the Holy Spirit flowing through us, having little to do with what we say.  Now, the Holy Spirit is not going to flow through us if our hearts are not pure.  People respond safely to integrity.  So, the commentor above said that we are needing to build up the self esteem of others.  How can we do that best according to truths found in this verse?  Align ourselves with God’s purposes, plans, and heart for that person, not with our own needs, or our own plan to “help”.  Learning to hear God and respond to him with his purposes and plans is our priority, then, not necessarily with a SuperMan mission to just deliver every person we come into contact with who we think could use a boost.   God will direct us. 

Sound too heavy a purpose and calling?  Maybe.  So, we can’t have any fun?  Well, that’s a good question I guess we should move toward next!  Let’s keep going.  It’s so awesome to be able to learn principles like this…to have access to the word of God and desire to dig.  I talk people who have no access to the Bible, no one leading them, have never read this stuff or thought it through.  I cannot imagine.  And, we have the world’s greatest gift, and we’d rather listen to Oprah than dig, as God values in us.  Go figure.

Another Kind of Speech Altogether:

I Cor. 2: 13  This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.

Whoa.  There is so much in there.  Read that several times and let it soak in. 

So, we gain a couple significant things to us here in our searching:  1.  There is human wisdom that sounds wise, but is not necessarily wisdom!  OUCH.  Get a load of that.  KEY to learning spiritual things.  2.  The Spirit teaches us spiritual truths in spiritual words.  a.  We are not left without tools.  (As a little aside here:  I got a very handy new sweeper for the floors.  My husband was very impressed saying, ”To get a man to clean house, bring on the good power tools!”  There are your ”power tools!”). 

POTENTIAL OF WORDS:

Ephesians 5:6
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.

That sounds harsh.  So, break it down:  1.  People CAN deceive us (read, trick us) with “empty words”(meaning?  I’ll say, things that sound good, make us feel good, and tickle our ears, but have little real back-bone.)  2.  God is not happy {see: “wrath comes on”) people who spill empty words.  He wants our speech to have substance.   Want to tell me again that careless words are just something the hearer needs to learn to “flush” out?  Want to read that again?  The speeker has a responsiblity.  Enough said.

What CAN We Say, Then? 

1 Peter 4:11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Wow.  I’ve heard people say, “Well, how in the world can I know what God says?  I’m supposed to be praying and hearing him every minute?  Right.  I’ve never even been sure I’ve heard him speak at ALL.” 

That’s a lot of our problem, I’d say.  We’ve not learned to pray and hear God.  So, there are greater issues at state really than what seems at surface.  That may take a whole ‘nother post, but let me just say that reading the word and learning to know God will help you “hear” him….know his truth, and what he’d have you do and say in a given situation.  If time is not being spent reading, in church, and knowing the word, chances are even those who think they are hearing from God will have a hard time truly distinguishing if it’s him or not.  And even if they do, they will doubt for lack of a good center on truth to measure it and confirm it so that they will act on it…all principles from the word of God, not things I’m guessing or making up.  Just not a lot of page space to adequately support that here.  There are lots of resources available to help those who truly want to hear God.  Just know that God promises many, many times over in his word that those who seek God find him “if they seek with all their heart [soul, mind, and strength]“.  It does take devotion.  He does ask that.  It is that intense.  But, it’s a riot, and it IS the most fun you’ll ever have, because it lasts, and it means something.   

What Did Jesus Base Interactions On? 

Jesus valued marriage and family.  He would not say something intntionally to cause married people to stumble.  Also, Jesus only said things to give glory to the Father, not himself.  Jesus was a purpose not to use people, but to treat them with respect and honor.  He took people seriously because he wanted to be taken seriously…he wanted his message to have the weight it needed.

What the World Values in Speech 

We love to be masters of words, benders of ears, savvy, smooth talking people, moving ourselves in and out of a crowd.  That is not the type of person I see indicated in Jesus.  Now, Jesus went to parties, enjoyed people, and “hung out” with the lowly.  I’ve seen modern books that fictionalize those accounts of Jesus, making him “the life of the party, known for have a hearty good time.”  This has affected the Christian mindset of who Jesus was over time, without necessarily a lot of scripural base.  Now, I believe Jesus did know how to use a sense of humor and spin words to reach people.  Yet, he did not toy with people.  He was trust-worthy entirely.  He made his intent, purposes, and message clear. 

Jesus did not want his intentions mis-represented or misunderstood: healing people and bringing life, deliverance, breaking the bonds of Satan.  Wow!  Don’t you KNOW he WAS having the time of his life!!!! Scripture shows Jesus committed to family, enjoying children  with humility and gentleness, hanging out with the downtrodden, broken, sinful, and confused.  THOSE were his passion.  But, he expected people to move along with him.  He didn’t stay there.  Anywhere.  He kept moving on with the purpose before him.  His heart was free to serve and minister.  Not attached to people overly, not overlooking people in the least.  What we do not see is a Jesus in scripture going around with the one committed purpose of raising people’s self esteem, causing them to smile, or seeing them “light up” with the flattery of his words.  No!  Jesus brought truth to matters–he was called, “the light of the world”!  Light and truth is not a feeling, emotion, or current that leaves the minute a person leaves the room.   

Jesus wasn’t walking around with a bit of influence, yet “doing whatever came naturally” just because he happened to be human and God.  We get confused and forget all about”die to self to follow Christ” and we want the “Jesus came to bring us life and blessing”.  We get the living through some dying.  We don’t always get to do things the way we want to, or the way that “looks” right. 

“There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end, it leads to death.”  (Proverbs 16:25).   

I don’t know about you, but I’d like avoid “the way that looks right, but leads to death” at ALL costs!  Yet, it’s going to “seem right” to me!  Whoa!  Could lifestyles and choices that seem to make sense ”lead to death”?  How?  What kind of death?  The same kind Eve suffered…the kind that left her “living”, but separated from the intimacy with God she once knew.  If “life” comes from knowing Christ, as the Scriptures says…I don’t want anything in the way of my experiencing real life!  I want to know Him! 

Consider this:  there is a worldly counterfeit for every heavenly thing.  The word tells us that the earthly is just a shadow of the real…the spiritual.  Have you ever thought about that?  Ever wonder why some things make you feel great for the moment, but afterwards, you’re filled with guilt, doubt, or shame?  That’s why.  If it’s eternal, of God, it will line up with the word of God, with what the church teaches, with what the Holy Spirit testifies to within you, and it will continue to fill you.  If not, it’s like pouring water over sand and expecting it to hold.  It just doesn’t.  I don’t know about you, but I sure hope the Christian life is more than pouring water in sand.  I am pouring my life, attention, and effort into it.   I want to “prove it” to the world.  I want to know and experience that deep and abiding satisfaction and joy the scriptures talk about.

If people are walking around looking gloomy and down…it’s going to take a lot more than my compliment or flirtation to bring them up, and it’s sure going to take a lot more than that to “stay”…in fact, anything else could just destroy them and may take me down in the process.

Do you believe in the ”holding power”, in the “filling” of the word of God and following truth?  I am.  I’m staking my whole llife on it.  I want to prove Christ.  Or disprove Him…but it’s all or nothing or the experiment is dead and tainted.   I don’t want to just tell you or live out “what seems to be okay by me!”  There is too much at state.  Seriously, there is a comment on that board which says it’s  ”okay to flirt, just as long as you aren’t shagging”?   Anyone else feeling naseated but the blunt truth of what our lives can say?   So…it’s okay to play with fire, just as long as we don’t get burned? 

No personal offense to anybody who is working through things the best they can as this person on the message board obviously is.  I would never want todo that.  I’m confronting a broadscale mentality.  If you don’t realize it’s out there, you don’t know what lies MANY people are fighting.

It’s not about what we can get away with without “sinning”.  It’s not about making ourselves or anybody else feel good.  It’s not about finding the word “flirt” in the Bible.  It’s about knowing Jesus, and his heart, and knowing him well enough to find the guidance and direction we need…it IS about searching and reading what is there, and learning.  Hopefully this particular blog entry, as feable as it is, can help you learn to do that…help you learn to find wisdom without having it all in bold print and caps, “DO NOT _____”. 

That’s what the law was about…a lot of rules to try to follow, and we never could.  That is why God sent Jesus, to free us from the law.  The way to freedom is NOT in doing all we can get away with…it’s in obedience.  We all hate that word–but in obedience comes true freedom and joy Christ promised.

God has a purpose and plan for you and your eternal influence with other people.  It’s okay to be light hearted and enjoy people. Yet, we are not to mess around with hearts, attention, affections, and focus.  We never know how vulnerable a person has become deep within.  Perhaps this is why we see mighty church leaders falling (as also referred to on the message board above).  They are vulnerable.  We all are.  We treat one another with respect due them.  Those above us in the Lord EVEN MORE SO…not less, assuming they are superhuman. 

Don’t feel like just because some mighty men and women of God are falling that there is no help or hope for you!  Don’t use a poor example to normalize sin just because it’s not as bad as so-in-so did.  Don’t assume that because they were not strong enough, there is no way you’ll ever be, so you may as well just stop fighting and do it.  No!  In every war, people fall, the strong and the weak…but we keep fighting because the war is worthy, and the cause is compelling. 

Our presentation is important.  Our words are important.  Where we get our “filling” deep inside is important.  Knowing human-ness is important (even Christians…even strong Christians).  Thinking about it, talking about it, seeking the word of God to sharpen ourselves so that we stand close to God’s “center” like Jeremiahs, unmoving…unswayed by public opinion…is important. 

I’ve heard it said, “I/She/He – just ‘playful’.  We are like brother-sister.  Oh, it’s not ‘that’!  Lighten up!  You know me!  It’s just to release tension.  We’re just playing around.  Just having fun.  Ligtening things up a bit.  Being silly.  Everyone ‘knows’ us.  Everyone just wants to have a good time.  I/he/she is the life of the party.   No one takes it seriously.” 

NOW, this article was linked to  here, and strategicalliance had this important twist to add.  I should have thought to add this slant myself which rounds out the thought nicely:

Should Christians Flirt? Yeah I will flirt with my wife… – but outside of marriage – It is not a wise thing to do. When I flirt in the context of marriage it strengthens my bond with my wife and since God co-signs on marriages (between a man and woman) He will not be displeased to see a couple grow stronger together according to his will (concerning marriage). Should we flirt outside of marriage? by the very definition of flirting- no but man does what is right according to his own eyes and not God’s eyes. Should Christian single flirt? Flirting is defined as to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions.

The outcome of flirting is not always full-filling. Trifling is defined as idle or frivolous conduct. Many who are seeking a spouse are not looking for idle or frivolous conduct, they are looking for serious relationships and prayerfully an equally yoked one. One of the benefits of being equally yoked is that the husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband (1 Corinthians 7:3.) be it the marriage bed or any other duty rather but if you are not on one accord as far as faith is concerned we are instructed already:

But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. (1 Corinthians 7:12)

And a woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. (1 Corinthians 7:13)

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord – meaning that whether he believes it or not – he is actively seeking his wife and the end result with that is favor with God. Because Sin distorts we need to stay in prayer. Living Holy is a believer’s protection and God does want the best for us in this life and the next.

 

Well said!  I had mainly inappropriate flirtation in mind…and this commentor hits the nail on the head squarely in regard to appropriate use.  I think there is a level of “courting” that goes on in ANY relationship building…but it is given a different name…hospitality and grace.  It doesn’t trick, connive, or try to meet it’s own needs with the intent the article for singles gave at the start of this entry. 

Think about this for a minute:  the apostle Paul tenaciously said, “Copy me, model me, follow my life”.  Can we act flippantly, entrusting those around us to model us, knowing they will be okay if they do?  Listen, I’m not judging.  I’ve not always done the job I should have with the influence I’ve had.   I would love to think I will never, ever again even imagine  that I had a part in someone else’s marriage falling, faltering, or flopping.  NEVER.  Yet, there will probably always be that war.  Did I care enough?  Was I a good example?  Talk about gravity!  We are supposed to be considering the weak among us as we make decisions, not flaunting any freedom we feel we may have.  Do we?  

You’ve read about “emotional affairs”…how much do you know about relational pacing–maturing relationships? Those happen when things are developed long before ”affair” words need to even be coming up in our vocalarly.  Affairs or seldom the plan.  I know few people who wake up and say, ”I’m married, but it sounds like a great idea to have an affair today.”  No.  It starts with the subtle.  The playing around.  The “flirting with ideas”, “playful enjoyment”…and perhaps not experiencing that as much at home BECAUSE it’s not as needful in mature relationships…they’ve moved on to the more valued traits of maturity, solidarity, helps.  But, few things compete with the emotional of early relationship hormones that inevitably occur with enough prodding.  People have different relational styles to get to know, so don’t go on a witch hunt, please!  Learn to deal with people’s styles.  At the same time, be aware.  “We do not want you to be ignorant” scripture says.  That’s what this is about. 

As adults, we don’t necessarily just level out into some “safe zone”.  Growing in wisdom takes a life-time.  You are never immune to being taken back to feelings that are very pleasurable and enjoyable…enjoyable enough that you want to repeat them, a few times…and enjoyable enough that you may lose all things most important to you.  Positive affirmation can be like a drug for many people.  You can feed the habit without realizing you are feeding a deliberate relationship.   But, the Holy Spirit will show you.  And if He does, be ready to break free no matter what the cost.  If you want to avoid that possibility, be very careful and deliberate and focused and secure in these principles of what God wants from you, and hold fast to those.

For those interested, here are a few more scriptures to meditate on:

Psalm 119:113
[ s Samekh ] I hate double-minded men, but I love your law.

Double-minded?  Someone who says one thing and really doesn’t mean it seriously, or not knowing for sure the intent of a person.  King David had had his fill of such people.  He wanted the sincere person whose word he could know, understand, and trust.  No games or confusion. 

1 Peter 4:7
The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.

“Focused” enough to pray?  Yes.   Why?  The end of times is coming.  What are we to be about in this “short time” then?

 Matthew 28:18-20 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

James 4:8
Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Philippians 3:8
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.

Relationships are the hardest work there is.  Can a girl, or a guy, be light and silly and playful, AND be deep and authentic and minister, getting into people’s heart of hearts in God-honoring ways?  Ways that bring glory to him, and not us? 

We CAN affair-proofing marriages, guard minds from inappropriate paths, watch the way we interact with other people, and set personal standards that set us apart as one who honors boundaries…these are the marks of a maturing Christian. 

If we are thriving or depending on anything other than the grace, joy, and hope of God to get us through our days (especially in regard to rehearsing things)…we need to take some time to examine .  We sing,

“All of you is/more than enough for/all of me/for every thirst and/every need/you satisfy me/with your love/and all I have in you/is more than enough“.  

Prove it to me.  Get your joy in the ways God intended.  Prove to me that’s where you are most filled…THAT is what brightens your face and puts the light in your eyes.

Author notes: I edited this several times as a result of feedback.  I value more of it.  But, even not being a skilled writer, the world deserves to know this is something to work through, and that there are those learning alone with you.  This article will likely be put to print, so I’ll add a tag I don’t normally consider:  All Rights Reserved. 

Other Useful Links:

Got Quetions?  What Does the Bible Say About Flirting?

Other Recommended Resources:  The Ten Commandments of Dating by Young & Adams.

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Related Topics:

 

What is an appropriate level of intimacy before marriage?

 

What does the Bible say about dating / courting?

 

How young is too young to be in a romantic relationship?

 

Are we supposed to be actively looking for a spouse, or wait for God to bring a spouse to us?

 

How will I know when I have found the perfect spouse for me?

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Questions about Relationships

Related ARTICLES by this blog author:

• How Do I Forgive a Crush on My Husband/Wife? (Boundaries to “Affair Proof” Your Marriage)
• The “Crush” and The Christian Marriage