Safe & Successful Christian Blogging: Thoughts & Tips

THOUGHTS ON SAFE & SUCCESSFUL CHRISTIAN  BLOGGING

Blogging is a great outlet for the person who needs/wants to connect with others, share, learn, digest information, or gain some accountability for life.  It is for the person who needs to “process” thoughts and information to stay healthy.  It is for the aspring writers who like to practice writing and even get a few cheers along the way.  It’s great for the professional who works a lot,  or the stay at home mom who finds energy to socialize at odd hours. 

Obviously, inherent to blogging and any Internet community, there is the element of risk and responsibilty.  Sticklers for such a fun excercise, but are wise to weight some thoughts and directions we can go.   

There are those of you, who, like me, have friends who have met people of the opposite sex online or who have had inappropriate things happen on line or by email…it is a concern not to be taken lightly.  Even the most guarded can fall into trapps of too much emotional closeness, even online.  We have to have healthy relational boundaries and even be able to pull away from folks who are pulling at our heartstrings…I’m speaking in regard to those of the opposite gender.   Just because there is no physical proximity doesn’t mean we aren’t pulling people away from their families, or them ours.   Priorities with time and in steering people toward appropriate resources are a skill we much learn as we become skilled ministers. 

 As our pastor says, “Don’t live in fear…that is not of God; DO be wise and use caution.”   

Blogging DOES provide accountability over straight email or IMs.   There are records of conversations and interations…in and others read…in that sense, it’s a great tool. 

A FEW GUIDELINES TO CONSIDER:

These are a few things I do to stay healthy and balanced (most of the time).  They are not ultimatums.  You may try some, all, or none of them, but hopefully it will challenge you to think about what it right and good for you and yours.  

Invite your spouse to your blog…send them your link at work to posts of fun family blogs, pictures they’d enjoy thatyou’ve posted.  Many spouses don’t have time to read a lot at work and don’t want to read a women’s world, but one or to links to specific posts a month keeps them involved with something tender and personal in your life.  Invite them to read anytime.  Sometimes when I seem tired or hard to understand, I’ll find my husband reading my blog to get a sense of what’s been nagging at me.  To write, in general, is often easier for me than talking.

Except for odd circumstances, I would not keep your blog a secret or something totally foreign to your spouse.   

Why?  You ask.  Well,  we are sharing intimate things about ourselves and our lives.  Helping readers identify and connect with us can lead us to say strange things, some we should not be writing.  For instance, once, early in blogging. I read a Christian lady’s blog who said, “I was salivating sitting there, pumping my gas, as I watched a couple men in their masculine uniforms walking out of the gas station, drinking their Orange Crushes, that hot summer afternoon.”  She followed that with,  “I hope my husband never reads this!  That’s why I don’t tell him about my blog!” 

We all know you are human and “real” without that.  Skip it.  Honor your family and your man. 

Invite accountability partners to your blog. Blogs are a good break from the normal, but my close friends who read and can check up on me keep it real, honest, and accountable.  Ask for checks from close friends so that you don’t get lost in cyberspace!  Yeah, it can be addictive at times!  Hard to imagine, eh?
 

Be sensitive. Be yourself, let your hair down, but…you are publishing. We can vent, but this is not a private journal.  While thoughts are often unfinished, in process, tired, or frustrated…guard yourself, or edit as the Holy Spirit leads.  More than once, I’ve written in frustration, gone to shower or work in the yard, and have to prance my little self right back to the screen to edit something that could be taken personally or the wrong way, and the Holy Spirit reminds me.  Follow that lead.  When I don’t listen, I get calls and wish I’d listened.  It’s not paranoia most often, it’s a ”check”, at least for me.   Now, some out there will say:   “Blog real, don’t go back and edit.  Just let it fly.  That’s what makes blogging so real and fresh.” 

I don’t advise blogging for discussing relational problems.  You can blog vaguely, but use caution.  Use Bibilical guidelines for solving problems.  Don’t embarrass even people who’ve been rude and thoughtless to you.  Email the person…better yet, talk, get together, pray, wait on the Lord, or just ignore them.  Blogging about it can hurt them, and will stress you and others.  

Here’s a big one:  Christian blogging is not a place to be someone else, or create an alter ego who is some fantasy person. It IS a place to continue to be real and honest.  

The tricky thing:  Having said that, I do not use my own name to try to protect privacy of my family and pics of my kids, but I try to stay true to who I am and invite real women I trust who keep me in check by hanging out here and commenting or emailing.  Whether or not to use your own name is a personal choice.  There is not a “right” choice for everyone.  Ialso volunteer for international ministries, some areas not secure.  If you plan to do that and ever link to your own blog…security has to be a consideration for you.  So…let wisdom and your comfort level guide.

How to Create Safe Community:   Link to families who demonstrate a commitment to family with their honoring pictures, positive affirmations, and life building.  I’m not saying they never voice a frustration, but consistent edification (encouragement) needs to be seen, especially between spouses.  Use blogging to build your family or gain support for it, not tear it down. 

Actually, since I started, I’ve found myself more and more THANKFUL for my family.   I CELEBRATE FAMILY!  It’s a great way to do that.  I love to honor them with words that will last.

Keep email exchanges healthy.  Many blogs today do ask for your email address, so don’t comment unless you have a plan to protect your address.  Choose an email address and even a “from” title in your emails which does not reveal your name, especially if you are a young lady.  I would only comment on blogs which show a strong commitment to family and Christian/family values, or have another plan in place…I’ll share mine next:

Create an alternate family email address to use on-line.  I use another .com service bounces all my mail to my primary service.  My cost is about $10.00US a YEAR for the second account.  Why?

1. When I sign up for things on the net, I’m not giving out my primary email. 
2. Mail goes through several spam filters before it gets to me. 
3. Dependability:  Double email is great for travel or outages of my primary service.  Often mail that is too large for my primary address is not too large for email.com.
4. I can check the some email when I’m out of town I need to with my webmail account.
5. Web mail is safer than using my primary account which has my real name on it.  I’m not blogging for fame or name recognition anyway.  Protecting names, location and pictures of me and my kids is important at times.  
6. Use a “web name” to comment if you are more comfortable for any reason. 
7. Finallly, you do NOT have to list your location on most blog services.  Just say “US” or “Western US” or something if you want.

How Do I Choose a Blog Address or Name?   Keep name choices family-oriented if you want to stay safe, especially as a woman. (Calling yourself “hot thing” is probably not going to help you stay safe, though it may make you feel great and hubby may call you that.)  Addresses?  I am 5purposedriven.  Note the FIVE.  Anyone who reads knows immediately that I’m committed to this little unit we call “family”.  Then, the blog spot is “Magnanimity” with the definition in the sidebar.  Something like that gives indication to your commitments and helps draw in people with similar standards and will probably bore others (unfortunately, and fortunately).   We all go through seasons when we are more vulnerable at times–these things help protect.

Other Random Tips

1. Watch the types of pics you post of yourself, especially full body shots.  I would only post a head shot or part of a head shot in my profile pic.  If you post on down toward your cleavage, it is hard for people to not think “visually” when they read the blog.    Pics of just you can be distracting to readers, or a spouse who walks by and wonders why there is a full bodied person of any kind on the screen.   
2. You can encourage your spouse to blog, and link to each other.  This is a great idea, and it works for some people not others.  Great way for young parents to stay connected.  (It doesn’t work for us–my husband doesn’t have time to write.  He’s too busy keeping me in line.)
3. Blogging Frequency:  Evaluate your blog goals each season.  Ask God to guide your pacing.  Is family your top priority?  Take a break if he says take a break.  Let readers know if you plan on a break and for how long.  Regular posting keeps blog communities and your link “alive”.  Encourage readers to subsribe to bloglines so that they can follow you no matter how often (or infrequently) you post.  No big deal, just stay consistent with posting, or explain your goals.
4. Comments:  And this is hard:  keep the encouragement flowing, but keep it short and to the point.  Be careful of flirtatious or frequent joking and banter in comments cross gender, even to keep a site upbeat and funny.  It’s easily mis-ead if comments are ”out there”, constantly drawing attention.  Your tone with others sets others tone in commenting.  So…be wise.
5. Don’t be afraid to disagree with the writer or expand on what they say, especially after you’ve demonstrated good rapport on the site.  That’s what keeps blogging fun and works your mind.  Healthy comments round out a blog and expand the thoughts of a cranky, tired, or frustrated one (of which I have been!). 

CONTENT:  How do I write?  About what?

• Mix content.  Some people say to keep your blog limited to a narrow subject matter in order for it to be successful.  I disagree in Christian blogging.  I think it’s good to keep yourself and your posts well rounded to maintain readership.  I’ve seen over and over again where people will pass up fifteen formal looking article links to get to one Google choice that seemed “real”–a healthy discussion from a real person with real people commenting and discussing rather than some “directive” a church or business published on the same subject.  Real.  Authentic. Relevant.  Thoughtful.
• Use some Scripture:  Use it, work it in, but be careful and mix it into your post well.  Keep access to truth there as you think and consider.  Show people how to use the word, and how God uses it, the body of Christ, and and prayer in your life.  Don’t use churchy language on every single post…just talk about your life, or problems, or interests.  (This is a personal preference…some keep different blogs for different things, and there are reasons for that as well.)    
• Comments are life to the blog, but they are not everything. I’ve heard it say that healthy commenting indicates a healthy and active blog.  I disagree.  Sometimes the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to commenting.  Sometimes, it’s obvious you are not wanting to socialize that day–people respect that in a thoughtful post.  It depends some on YOUR personality.  But people still read.  I get several hundred “first click” hits here a day…but I’ve not emphasizing commenting.  It also depends some on how many people locally who get the comments going.  I’m in an area not as exposed to blogging, and have not advertised with local friends…that makes a difference.  People aren’t accustomed to “commenting” to make blog interactions bounce back and forth.   A sitemeter can help guide you as to what your most effective blogging entries are.  www.Sitemeter.com is a great service and does an excellent joy, especially for blogger users.  Other services like typepad and WordPress have statcounters built in.  
• A blog CAN also be healthy with NO people visiting!  It just depends on what you want to use it for, and the direction it is going.  A personal journal doesn’t need any visitors, though it may get a few here and there.  You do NOT have to list the blog publically so that it is not listed with search engines.  A search engine can still pick it up, but it’s not nearly as likely as when RSS readers are picking it up.  You can turn On or OFF the RSS feed.  If you are a private person, turn it off.  If you want to evangelize, keep it ON.
• Encourage commentors.  A short note saying: “Thanks for visiting! I like the insight!” using your alias email account can help people feel welcome and valued.  Encourage new commentors with something simple. I’ve not had a problem with this getting out of hand with blogging, but email can get out of hand with a “needy” person. 

Review:  SiteMeter.com or Statcounter.com (free online trafficking tools)  You won’t get names, but you see address locations of incoming clicks, view search terms used to find you, and see other fun information you’ll become addicted to enjoy.

WITH SECURITY CONCERNS AND LIMITED TIME?  WHY BLOG?

Ultimately, because God leads you to.  If He wants you to invest “life” in anything…you just know it’s for you.  Beyond that thought, connecting with people in the body across the globe is a good idea. 

• It increases the “oneness” of the body of Christ across the world. 
• It lets people “see” our lives who never could or would otherwise. 
• The body of Christ is not utilizing technology enough.  It’s free, it’s real, it’s out there.  We need to have a presence!

We have the honor and responsibility to disciple, support, teach, and help others.  Do we really want non-Christians to learn about “real life” from tabloids and TV!  (Last night, a commercial said  “really live in Vegas!”  …I’m just sayin’.)

Be “in and not of”.

TIME: 

Purpose takes time.  Anything does.  Blogging can take TOO MUCH time, depending.  I’ve gotten out of balance with it on occasion–meaning, beyond what I thought God was calling me to at the time at the sacrifice of my family, or other responsibilities (just maintaining a computer has that effect on most of us).   Again, just take a break if you need it, letting readers know you are taking some time off if they are expecting you.  Do other things.  “Life”  keeps you alive and balanced.! Ultimately, your time is the Lord’s, so just listen to him!  Habits or entertainment or obligatory service to fill your time can’t surpass obedience, right?  That’s where the real life is! 

SPAM:    Mine is awful.  I get 100 spam comments a day at this point and I do not try to go fetch good comments which may have been caught by Askiment…WordPress’s attempt to “help”.  Blogger uses either letter verification or comment moderation…you can turn those on to help.  It’s a pain, but part of web life.  I just choose to delete without reading at all these days.

BLOGGING FOR GROUPS?  ABSOLUTELY!

You can have multiple authors on a site.   Multiple moderators.  Multiple pages hosting multiple blogs.  You can do Bible study, keep youth groups connected through college years…keep people updates on the progress of a ministry!  There are all kinds of creative ways to blog.

TO CLOSE:

Ask me questions here or here!  Join in!

(See how I just EMBEDDED, “hid”,  my email address under a “link”?  This is easy, and helps with spam.)

READERS:  WHAT SAFEGUARDS HAVE YOU USED IN THE PAST AND FOUND HELPFUL?

I’d love to have more local leaders using blogging as a tool and resource for groups. Get in touch if you want more information as to how you can set them up.  (You can have as many contributing authors as you like and still maintain administrative license.)